A successful relationship or marriage requires attention, nurturing, and work. Making and maintaining a long-term relationship which can last despite many trails, is often perceived as a very sensitive matter and require extra effort to keep it healthy and ongoing.
- Compromise. Finding a healthy balance in compromise is an inherent part of a relationship. Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. It’s not just about what someone else can do for you, what you can do for someone else is equally important. If you find yourself in a relationship that you don’t receive back as much as you give, then you are in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are giving. Some people think if they find someone who really love them, they will be willing to do whatever they are asked to do. But the point is that we are all independent with our needs and personalities and just because we have found someone to spend our lives with, doesn’t mean that we have to lose our identity in the process.
- Communication. Communication is the key in a healthy and successful relationship. But unfortunately not everyone knows how to communicate properly or sometimes even communicate at all. If two people can’t talk about their needs and feelings to one another in an open and honest way, their relationship can’t stand much of a chance long-term. Don’t wait for an argument to tell your significant other that how much you resent he splashes water everywhere when he is having a shower. You have to tell him when you feel the need to, and also tell him in a respectful but assertive way.
- Choose Your Battles wisely. There are always arguments in every relationship. When two people move in together or get married, they usually find it hard to live day in, day out with someone else every day, especially if they have been on their own for a long time, no matter how much they love each other. So it is important to be prepared for this kind of challenge and decide which issues are worth fighting and which are better to be left alone. Is it worth fighting over your favourite coffee cup or being the first one to use the shower in the morning or isn’t it better saving your energy to argue over important matters like career path, kids or finances. Sometime couples argue over insignificant things compared to crucial issues in life.
- No Comparisons. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. We often compare our lives to those of others; what sort of jobs people have; how big their homes are; the type of cars they drive or the clothes they wear. The point is that a successful relationship is like nurturing a plant. As a seed needs proper care and nourishment to become a plant, so also a marriage or a relationship requires love, patience, and sound effort on the part of both partners. The key to a happy and long-term relationship is about understanding your partner, being supportive and paying attention to your partner’s needs and wishes.
- Respect. Mutual respect is a foundation for any relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting your partner. Generally respect is present when we embrace the concepts of acceptance, forgiveness, allowing our partner to make mistakes without judging their motives, listening attentively to them and what they say when they are talking to us, and appreciating their unique personality.
- Accept differences. “We need not think alike to love alike.” ~Ferenc David. Differences can be lively and engaging. It doesn’t mean that one is better or worse, right or wrong, it’s just different. When there’s room for individuality, there is room for connecting and growing together. Observe, interact, and enjoy learning about your partner. Fitting together doesn’t mean finding yourself in someone else. It means learning to re-examine who you thought you were and bending to grow together. It means seeing the world through a different lens, and accepting that you may not have all the answers.
Every couple wants to have a successful and rewarding relationship, yet it is normal for couples to have ups and downs. To meet these challenges, and to keep your relationship happy and lasting, you need to work at it. Relationships are like bank accounts, if there are more withdrawals than deposits, you will run into difficulties.
“Successful relationships don’t just happen out of nowhere. They take time, commitment, faith, and two people that honestly want to be together”