Monthly Archives: January 2016

A Successful Relationship

A successful relationship or marriage requires attention, nurturing, and work. Making and maintaining a long-term relationship which can last despite many trails, is often perceived as a very sensitive matter and require extra effort to keep it healthy and ongoing.

  • Compromise. Finding a healthy balance in compromise is an inherent part of a relationship. Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. It’s not just about what someone else can do for you, what you can do for someone else is equally important. If you find yourself in a relationship that you don’t receive back as much as you give, then you are in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are giving. Some people think if they find someone who really love them, they will be willing to do whatever they are asked to do. But the point is that we are all independent with our needs and personalities and just because we have found someone to spend our lives with, doesn’t mean that we have to lose our identity in the process.
  • Communication. Communication is the key in a healthy and successful relationship. But unfortunately not everyone knows how to communicate properly or sometimes even communicate at all. If two people can’t talk about their needs and feelings to one another in an open and honest way, their relationship can’t stand much of a chance long-term. Don’t wait for an argument to tell your significant other that how much you resent he splashes water everywhere when he is having a shower. You have to tell him when you feel the need to, and also tell him in a respectful but assertive way.
  • Choose Your Battles wisely. There are always arguments in every relationship. When two people move in together or get married, they usually find it hard to live day in, day out with someone else every day, especially if they have been on their own for a long time, no matter how much they love each other. So it is important to be prepared for this kind of challenge and decide which issues are worth fighting and which are better to be left alone. Is it worth fighting over your favourite coffee cup or being the first one to use the shower in the morning or isn’t it better saving your energy to argue over important matters like career path, kids or finances. Sometime couples argue over insignificant things compared to crucial issues in life.
  • No Comparisons. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. We often compare our lives to those of others; what sort of jobs people have; how big their homes are; the type of cars they drive or the clothes they wear. The point is that a successful relationship is like nurturing a plant. As a seed needs proper care and nourishment to become a plant, so also a marriage or a relationship requires love, patience, and sound effort on the part of both partners. The key to a happy and long-term relationship is about understanding your partner, being supportive and paying attention to your partner’s needs and wishes.
  • Respect. Mutual respect is a foundation for any relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting your partner. Generally respect is present when we embrace the concepts of acceptance, forgiveness, allowing our partner to make mistakes without judging their motives, listening attentively to them and what they say when they are talking to us, and appreciating their unique personality.
  • Accept differences. “We need not think alike to love alike.” ~Ferenc David. Differences can be lively and engaging. It doesn’t mean that one is better or worse, right or wrong, it’s just different. When there’s room for individuality, there is room for connecting and growing together. Observe, interact, and enjoy learning about your partner. Fitting together doesn’t mean finding yourself in someone else. It means learning to re-examine who you thought you were and bending to grow together. It means seeing the world through a different lens, and accepting that you may not have all the answers.

Every couple wants to have a successful and rewarding relationship, yet it is normal for couples to have ups and downs. To meet these challenges, and to keep your relationship happy and lasting, you need to work at it. Relationships are like bank accounts, if there are more withdrawals than deposits, you will run into difficulties.

“Successful relationships don’t just happen out of nowhere. They take time, commitment, faith, and two people that honestly want to be together”

Trust Yourself

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.  ― Benjamin Spock

Trusting ourselves means trusting our intuition or our gut feelings. Intuition is a great self-help tool as it is with us at all time and can tell us what we really want or don’t want in our life and what we need to be successful. After all no one knows the real us better than ourselves.

Unfortunately we ignore our intuition most of times and let our rational mind to take over. When making a decision. How many times do you ask people for their opinion? How many times a day do you second guess yourself? We all have been doubting ourselves most of times, thinking that we are not good enough. That is because we don’t trust our inner voice and instead we depend on others. In other word we tell ourselves that our opinion don’t matter and others must know better than us. The truth is that we do know something and probably know more than we think we know. But by thinking that we don’t know anything keeps us from making the right decision which our intuitive mind is telling us. And we let ourselves to be dependent on other people.

It’s time that we learn how to trust ourselves. Here are a few simple steps which can help you to build trust in yourself:

  • Be-friend yourself. The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship with ourselves. If we don’t know ourselves, are not connected and emotionally available to ourselves, we cannot be connected and emotionally available for others either. By knowing ourselves better we become more focussed on our internal processes. We have to constantly ask ourselves questions, like: “What am I feeling? What am I thinking?” “I wonder why that’s bothering me? And this process builds an inner strength and plants the seed of trust.
  • Take action. We gain trust in others when they stick to the promises they have made and have delivered them. Has ever someone let you down? Made a promise and broken it? How did it feel? Pretty horrible I suspect. What about the other way around?  Have you ever broken a promise to someone else? We generally try with all our power to follow through our word, to do as we have promised we will. Promises are serious matters and by not sticking to them we create strong feelings when they are made and broken. We place a lot of value on being honest and having personal integrity. Now I have another question to ask: Have you ever made a promise to yourself which you didn’t follow it through and broke it? I think most of us have, even more than once or twice. The point is, if we have a friend who constantly made promises and let us down, what would we think of them? What value would we place on their promises?  And how long would we tolerate their behaviour? When we break the promises that we have made to ourselves, we send ourselves a powerful message that we are not trustworthy. And we also go against our values around being honest and acting with integrity. By learning to be accountable to ourselves we start to trust ourselves, and with each and every commitment we keep to ourselves, we build our self-esteem and faith in our ability to deliver. Making a promise to do something that is within our limit but at the same time, leading us towards our goal, is the best way to build trust.
  • Be tough, but just. Each and every one of us make mistakes during our lives. There might be times when we break our promises to ourselves, but the important thing is to acknowledge it and find a solution for it. The best ways I found to make me keeping my promises are: To make one promise per day and stick to it.  To be realistic in my daily commitment, not to let anything get in the way, To make my promise clear and specific, To write down my promise and keep it somewhere visible, To keep track of my daily success on a chart somewhere I can see regularly, and reward myself for keeping my promises for a week.

Life is about trusting yourself and your feelings, taking chances, finding happiness and learning from your mistakes. Don’t be so afraid of making mistakes as I believe that life has a way of working out. So trust your best judgment, stick to your decision, follow through, and let the cards fall where they may.

“Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves.” ~ Leon Brown

 


Give Yourself Permission To Live A Life

Give yourself permission to live a life – Most people around the world have sacrificed their passion or creativity in order to fulfil their responsibilities. So often in our lives we lose touch with our inner selves, with how we feel and what we truly desire in our lives. Then we start asking ourselves questions like:  How will it be when I get to the end of my life? How do I feel about the life I lived? The feeling of anxiety that will come next is just normal. Then we will feel confused because life had felt so good. We were happy, had a successful marriage, beautiful kids, and a job that we reasonably enjoyed. We feel that we had everything and yet something is missing. This missing part keeps us from being happy and completely satisfied with our life.

We have to realize that there is no fairy dust that will make our life what we want it to be or a magic spell that will bring us the feelings that we desire. We have to accept that only we have the control and the power within us to make the choices that will serve us best. We are the ones who have to take the first step and give ourselves permission to apply positive changes to our life and create a new happy and more fulfilling life for ourselves.

Here are top ten shifts in perspective that can help you move your life to the next level. This self-improvement article will assist you in breaking through that missing part to create the life you really want.

  1. Give yourself permission to dream. When was the last time you caught yourself daydreaming and appreciated it? You probably had no problem dreaming, when you were a kid. What happened to your ability to imagine and dream about what you want and who you want to be? How often do you allow yourself to be who you are? To dance when you want to dance? To sing? To say, I love you first?
  2. Stop looking outside yourself for happiness. Look inside. People often believe something outside of themselves will make them happier. The truth is, external elements bring only temporary happiness. Once you have enough money to pay your bills, have lost weight, or have fallen in love, your happiness subsides and you begin looking for the next external element to make you happy. Increase your self-awareness. Get curious about who you are at the core. Cultivate and nurture a relationship with yourself. Learn to love yourself, and you will automatically receive the love and appreciation that you desire from others.
  3. Cover the basics. Take the time to address your personal needs. How can you focus on thriving in your life if you are in survival mode? Set up that meeting with a financial advisor, get your space organized, clean up the details that are wasting your energy.
  4. Embrace your past and move on. Learning to accept your past will help you move forward in your life. Let go of things in your past which are lingering around and are causing you stress. Shift from “why it happened” to what I want to do about it now. Asking “why” is not a very empowering question. Asking what or how I want to proceed can be much more powerful and produce forward movement.
  5. Remember that you are not alone. Life can be very overwhelming sometimes but you have to get yourself into the habit of reading regularly. When was the last time you read a book or an article about self-improvement? Everything you read fills your head with new bits of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to tackle any challenge you’ll ever face. Read more self-improvement articles. They might help you figure about some things that are puzzling you.
  6. Remember gratitude. Count your blessings. Being grateful is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is relatively immune to the gains and losses that flow in and out of our lives. When disaster strikes, gratitude provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety and not be overwhelmed by temporary circumstances. Yes, this perspective is hard to achieve, but it is worth the effort. Make a list of what is working right in your life? Set aside a bit of time every day to acknowledge what or who you are grateful for. The more you practice gratitude, the more you attract things into your life to be grateful for.
  7. Follow your passion. You still have your passions though it has been a while since you may have felt it flow. Make a commitment to yourself today to become aware of your passion, follow it and live it completely free as you let go of your fears and worries. It doesn’t make sense to say, “I don’t know what my passion is.” What does make sense is to say, “I haven’t yet cultivated a passion, I should really focus down on a small number of things which can help me to find my deep passion that drives me into a fulfilling career.
  8. Take action and take a risk. All the inspiration in the world is not enough to make you move your life to the next level. It takes inspired action to do that. When you’re taking inspired action, you are in the zone. You are flying along like a high speed engine and everything just flows. You will accomplish more in a relatively short amount of time than you ever realized was possible. You will work harder than ever, but it doesn’t feel like work.
  9. Keep breathing. You probably forget to take deep full breaths. We have all learned to constrict our breathing in response to stress. You can’t stay calm unless you control your breathing. We need oxygen, not only to live but to gain energy and be healthy.
  10. Have fun. Do something that you enjoy. Take a walk at lunch and enjoy the sunshine on your skin. Listen to some soothing music for five minutes (with your eyes closed). Take yourself to an art museum or schedule a whole day out in nature. Give your spouse an extra-long hug and kiss when you see them tonight. Incorporate some fun in your day. It makes life a lot more enjoyable!

Always look over the little details of your life… like a child’s laughter, a friend’s hug, or a stranger’s smile… to love someone and be loved by someone… enjoy them… They may be small, but when you look back in your life, you’ll realize that those are the things that made your life colourful and worth living for.

“Give yourself permission to take action on feeling good and creating positive changes in your life, because you deserve it. We all do!”


Practice Kindness

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty. / Anne Herbert

Kindness is inspiring, powerful, courageous and wise. It’s also disarming, compelling and transformative. Being kind is a vital way of bringing meaning to our own lives as well as the lives of others. Being kind allows us to communicate better, be more compassionate, and also to be a positive force in people’s lives. Kindness has its true source deep within us, and while some people are innately kind, it’s something that everyone can cultivate by choice. In any given moment, the kindness we offer to ourselves or to others affects what happens in the very next moment. The more we practice, the better we get at it.

Here are some simple ways to practice kindness:

  1. Smiles are powerful and contagious. Don’t hesitate to smile warmly at friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. Never stop smiling! God smiles on us each and every day. His love has no depth, his mercy no end. His arms are open wide, just step into them.
  2. Send hand-written thank-you notes to the people in your life who have helped you through your difficult times and had an impact on the life you have created for yourself. Receiving a hand written thank you notes delivers a special meaning and it is a personal touch.
  3. If you use public transport, be the first one to offer your seat to an elderly person or a pregnant woman when it is busy and there is no free seats left.
  4. Pay it forward can add a tremendous sense of meaning and dignity to our lives. Simply put, it feels good to give to others, whether we get back or not. How about when you are in a coffee shop next time, you could buy a coffee or cake in advance for the next customer that comes in. Imagine what a nice surprise that could be to that person when they discover that a kind stranger has paid it forward for them.
  5. When you see a homeless person, think about a way to help them. May be you could bring them some water, buy them some food, or give them some warm clothing, sleeping bags or blankets when the weather is cold. You could spend some time with them, listen to them and talk to them.
  6. Care for others genuinely around you. Most people who care for others in a selfless manner do so because of a genuine desire to help and improve the world around them.  Being caring allows you to have empathy for others and to live a life based on affection, love, and compassion for the people around you.  Being caring means providing a listening ear, noticing when someone needs help, and helping your community without asking for a reward
  7. One of most basic needs of human being is to understand and be understood. Although we hear with our ears, many of us don’t necessarily listen to what is being said. We don’t get the chance to listen when we are too quickly reacting, judging, providing solutions, and disagreeing. When we listen to others well, it makes them feel accepted, understood, important, valued and validated. Listening benefits the listener as well. It helps build trust, avoid misunderstanding, and above all it’s a true gift which we can share to uplift people.
  8. Ask elderly neighbours if they need anything doing. The best course of action to begin with is to make yourself known to an elderly neighbour and ask if there’s anything you can do to help. Getting older might mean that they have trouble carrying out simple jobs, that you could manage with little effort, and they will really appreciate your offer.
  9. Tell your loved ones that you love them regularly. Sometimes, it gets taken for granted that we love our parents, siblings, friends, spouse or our children and though they’re really important to us, we simply don’t use “those words” in normal conversation. Love is a positive energy that makes us feel good when it is received or shared. If we want to feel good all the time, we should release this energy often by expressing our love. When we express love, we make the other person also feel good. That person too, as a response, expresses love and we receive more of this positive healing energy.
  10. When a thought of generosity arises within you, act on it. Don’t hold back. This is important. Giving doesn’t have to be involved with material things. It could be sending flowers, a compliment, a word of encouragement, sitting with someone in time of grief or sadness. The Law of Giving is really simple:  if you want more joy, give joy to others.  If you want love, learn to give love.  If you want happiness, help others become happy.  And if you want to become wealthy, learn to help others become materially affluent. Our potential for wealth is not shown in our bank account as much as it is in the attitude of our heart.
  11. If someone is struggling with money problems, find a way anonymously to help them if you can. If not anonymously, out in front.
  12. Stop complaining. It never makes anything better, it doesn’t serve any purpose besides draining your energy and the energy of others around you, and it makes friends and family screen you out when you call, or run in different direction when they see you coming. So choose to reject negativity and be positive instead.
  13. Compliment others. Compliments should come from a place of genuine desire to make other people feel better. I know you’ve received a compliment before that has made you feeling good about yourself. Don’t you want to spread the love and give that kind of feeling to others?
  14. Always speak thoughtfully. You have the power to contribute something meaningful or hurtful. Choose your words carefully as they can be remembered years later. Always speak good words, or words that reflect who you really are. Being kind doesn’t mean that you can’t make your point or send your message across. Being kind will show that you care, regardless of the message. By sharing your compassion, you might change how someone feels about themselves or a situation.
  15. Think of the people in your life and be there for them when they need help. Sometime we are so caught up in our daily life and so focused on our own agendas that we forget about others ‘needs  and our effect on them.  If you want to be a more caring person, then you have to appreciate the people in your life as much as you can and make a habit of taking the time to help a friend or a loved one in need. If a friend or a family member is having a hard time, make sure they know that you are there for them and are available to talk and help.
  16. Spend some time with a senior citizen living on their own. Older people are especially vulnerable to loneliness and social isolation, and it can have a serious effect on their health. Someone who is lonely probably also finds it hard to reach out. There is a stigma surrounding loneliness, and older people tend not to ask for help because they have too much pride. You could always volunteer helping them. You could spend some time with them, listen to them and get them engaged in conversation, and make some difference in their life.
  17. Give Blood. Donating blood is a simple thing to do, but it can make a big difference in the lives of others.
  18. Encourage someone to pursue their dream. Be a haven of positive thoughts and outlooks to someone to achieve their goals. Provide them support and help them persevere their dreams when they’re looking down.
  19. Always say “Please” and “Thank You”, to keep you humble, to make you fully appreciate your blessings, to make you feel more optimistic, and to encourage you compassion, kindness and love.
  20. Always show special kindness and compassion to those who suffer. Be considerate toward people in need. By showinng compassion, not only you help others, but in essence, you help yourself too.  By doing good to others we receive positivity, contentment. and peace.  In this sense, the various forms of the Golden Rule are clearly based on the concept of compassion.“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” – Dalai Lama

Kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, lend them a helping hand. Do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” / Lao Tzu


Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual awakening comes, when we become aware of our infinite nature. Our planet nowadays is full of issues, sounds, information and challenges that pose on our spiritual senses. Have you ever been desiring a more meaningful life more than an unfulfilling work, or gathering material possessions?  In case that your answer is yes. I have to say that you are not alone, as more and more individuals realize that true and lasting happiness and fulfilment can never be won on the battlefield of material success, no matter how powerful or wealthy one becomes, or how adept one is at surrounding oneself with the “right” people or circumstances

People have become more focused on self-awakening or self-realization these days, as they are more aware that the answer lies within rather than in external things. They have realized that the answer doesn’t lie in obtaining more possessions, expensive cars, beach homes, but an experience full of spiritual insights which makes this life more fulfilling and worth living.

The best decision makers and great motivators throughout the history were the same as we are, irrespective of one main factor: They simply understood just how to pay attention to their inner self. They realized how to relate to their higher level of consciousness and how to stay tuned to their internal voice.

Exactly the same voice that we all have within us at this time, awaiting its calling to be answered by us.

“Even a stone, and more easily a flower or a bird, could show you the way back to God, to the Source, to yourself. When you look at it or hold it and let it be without imposing a word of mental label on it, a sense of awe, of wonder, arises within you. Its essence silently communicates itself to you and reflects your own essence back to you.” / Eckhart Tolle

Every morning as we wake up from sleep, we enter the state of wakefulness, a state of repeated stream of thoughts, which is the characteristic of being wakeful. So what is it that we awaken from when spiritual awakening occurs? We awaken from identification with our thoughts. In the unawakened condition, we are totally identified with and run by our thoughts. We don’t see anything as it is, but by our twisted mental concepts, ideas, judgments, and perception. Our sense of identity gets cut down to a story which we keep repeating to ourselves in our head. And when our life is thus reduced, we can never be happy as we are not ourselves. Whereas In the spiritual awakened state, we realize that there is a depth to our being which we had never been aware of, and that is our conscious. We become more aware of the way of our thinking and we won’t get ruled by our thoughts any longer. A spiritually awakened person no more identifies with the body, while living in the body and performing all functions and activities by the body. He has let go of all sense of ego which is “I”, “Me” and “Mine”. He does not get affected by any emotion since he is filled with love, kindness and compassion for all humanity.

“That is the real spiritual awakening, when something emerges from within you that is deeper than who you thought you were. So, the person is still there, but one could almost say that something more powerful shines through the person.” / Eckhart Tolle

Characteristics of a spiritually awakened person –

  • The Spiritually illumined individual has lost his sense of ego since he identifies with self (divine).
  • He could have all the worldly materials such as wealth, fame, friends, relationship, and enjoy them, however the loss of them doesn’t make him miserable and unhappy.
  • Since he believes that all the worldly possessions are not permanent, he is not afraid of losing them.
  • He never seeks the approval of others or the external force as he believes in the power of self (divine).
  • He doesn’t get affected by any situation which can bring happiness or unhappiness since he has reached the mental state of self-control and the presence of mind.
  • Fear, jealousy, hatred, animosity, or any other negative force has no place in the life of such a spiritually illumined person.
  • He is always very humble and never sees himself as a superior to anyone as he believes that everyone is the same as he is and everybody is equal to him.
  • A spiritually illumined individual is free of all negative thoughts and actions about himself and others because the true nature of self is divine. His every word or action is of a high intellectual or moral level and he inspires others to challenge them.
  • He is totally detached to any material assets, relationship, name, fame, concepts or beliefs.
  • He performs all his duties conscientiously and to his best ability in life but he leaves the outcome of his efforts to GOD, as he believes that the result of his efforts are meant for the welfare of all concerned.
  • The spiritually illumined individual is a one who is absolutely egoless. Love, compassion and kindness oozes out of such a person like water flows out of a fountain! It is unconditional and it is available to all human, animals, birds and plants. He always takes care not to cause any harm to the nature as he believes that learning from nature is one of the best ways to learn humility.
  • Forgiveness is a strong trait of a spiritually illumined person. He lives a life of optional humility and, he can never mistreat or harm anybody.
  • His utmost aim is to grow spiritually all the time instead of pointing out to the flaws and imperfections of others. Such a person doesn’t teach or lecture others but he becomes himself a role model which others strive to follow.
  • He always respect other people’s opinions and beliefs and never imposes his belief on others.
  • He is always a happy being, and he spreads happiness and joy wherever he goes.
  • Since he is content and happy with what he has, so he is free of any greed and desire to possess more than his basic requirements.
  • The spiritually illumined individual doesn’t get angry and if somebody gets angry on him, he won’t retaliate or begrudge that person, but forgive them easily.
  • Such an individual doesn’t look for fault or flaws in others and if anybody criticizes him, he will accept it gracefully.
  •  He never try to control others as he believes in controlling himself.
  • A spiritually awakened person accepts all kind of people, situations and things as he has a great capacity of patience and tolerance.
  • Such an individual has more inner silence and he speaks less but whatever he says is sweet and good.

The single message of those who have realized such potential has always been the same, and basically, it comes down to this: True and lasting happiness and fulfilment are an individual affair and can only be found by going deep within, where one’s true essence is vividly and stunningly revealed as love, and then living into the reality of that awareness.

“You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are.” / Eckhart Tolle


Stress Management

Stress management is life management; if you take control of your stress, your life will thank you for it. “Shereka Dunston“

Stress is defined as the experience or anticipation of adversity in our goal-related efforts, a normal psychological and physical reaction to the ever-increasing demands of life. We experience stress when there is an imbalance between life demands being made on us and our resources to cope with those demands. Coping with life demands, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to us can scratch away the little joy and happiness that we can carry once we head out that door.

The level and extent of stress a person may feel depends a great deal on their attitude to a particular situation. An event that may be extremely stressful for one person can be a mere hiccup in another person’s life.

So how can we reduce our stress? There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life:

  1. Acknowledge stress is good

Make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

How you think and act can transform your experience of stress. When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage. When you choose to connect with others under stress you can create resilience. Now I wouldn’t necessarily ask for more stress in my life, but you can see it as another access to your compassionate heart and to your pounding physical heart to give you strength and energy.”

  1. Avoid stressed people

Overly stressed people are infected with stress germs and they spread them around indiscriminately. Soon, before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you’ve got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

  1. Learn from the best

Try to make yourself into the type of person you want to be. So model calm people, people who seem to naturally handle stress well. When people around you are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use?  What are they saying to themselves?  Are they trained and experienced? You might observe them or, sit them down and have a chat with them. Ask them how they handle things that seem to stress others. Learn from the best and copy what they do.

  1. Practice Breathing, Really heavy breathing

This is something I’ve learned from a gym instructor: You can’t stay calm unless you control your breathing. You can trick your body into relaxing simply by using deep breathing techniques. Focus on bringing your breaths into the bottom of your stomach and then push the air out completely.

  1. Stop Obsessive Thinking

Take a few times throughout the day where you can sit comfortably and visualize your scary thoughts in a less threatening way. You can use humour to downplay those thoughts to less frightening thoughts. Use positive self-talk that reassures you that you would never carry out the thoughts you think. You have the power to DO or NOT DO anything you want. Remind yourself that it’s okay that those thoughts are there. Do not resist them…. accept them as just “thoughts” and nothing more. They cannot hurt you or make you do anything you don’t want to do. Most of these thoughts never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

  1. Identify Your True Sources of Stress

It’s easy to identify sources of stress following a major life event such as changing jobs, moving home, or losing a loved one, but pinpointing the sources of everyday stress can be more complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that contribute to your stress levels. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress. Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control. Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources?

  1. Be Smart About the Three Fundamentals of Energy

What are these three fundamentals? Getting enough sleep, eating healthy and exercising a couple of times a week.

Sleep deprivation, poor diet and no exercise affect your body both in the short term and over time leading to chronic health problems which can impact the quality of your life. Lack of sleep increases your appetite, affects your memory and ability to learn, and shortens your attention span. I know, these things are very obvious but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique and when you manage these three areas in a good way in practice then that makes a huge difference for your mood, energy, outlook of life and how well you can handle stress. So listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!

Having stress can be a total hardship, but that should not prevent you from finding the inner peace of mind that you have wanted for a long time. Connecting with others that share the desire to create more inner peace and give back to the world can increase your feelings of purpose, and in turn, inner peace. Consider enrolling for a prayer group, yoga or meditation class. There are number of online groups, for people that want to pray, meditate, or exercise their practice of choice in order to gain inner peace and focus on positive intentions to benefit others. Volunteering is another way to make you feeling more content and less stressed. By focusing your attention on others, your inner self will shift from being self-centred to becoming more giving and generous. Peace isn’t a passive state, but a state where the mind, heart and body are in balance as you’re actively living life.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”  Buddha


Enlightenment

Enlightenment is the “quiet acceptance of what is.” I believe the truly enlightened beings are those who refuse to allow themselves to be distressed over things that simply are the way they are. “Wayne Dyer“.

Enlightenment is accepting and understanding of things as they are rather than as they appear.

Acceptance is an act of trust. It is then, when we accept our current circumstances and let go of what is not working in our lives or what we don’t like, that universe will guide us to where we need to be, to a more fulfilled and meaningful life.

Acceptance also helps us to deal better with the challenges and obstacles which come our ways in life. It gives us the strength to overcome the negative emotions and helps us to clear our mind, to receive intuitive messages which lead us to take positive action.

I am sure that you have some brilliant ideas, somewhere in the back of your mind that you can’t wait to test them out. All you need is a bit of positive thinking and you will be able to put them into action. Remember that Positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.

Here are some tips on positive thinking which can help you:

1: Live your life and be true to yourself. Consider creating an authentic future in a passionate way and enjoy every moment of it.

2: devote yourself to create a life which you can love and be proud of, for yourself and the people you love. A life out of love instead of fear.

3:  Believe and accept that each moment of life is precious and you could never have it back when it is gone. Every time you hit an obstacle while doing a task, instead of getting dishearten, why not give it another try and see if it will work, or find another way to make it work. In the end if you are not happy with the outcome, then decide to use that moment to learn from and make the applicable change.

4: Remain constantly in the state of being grateful. Once you become oriented toward looking for things to be grateful for, you will find that you begin to appreciate simple pleasures and things that you previously took for granted. Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good even in unpleasant situations. Today, start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful; in this way, you’ll be on your way toward becoming a master of gratitude.

5: Always keep humour at the leading edge of your thought. Laughing at and with yourself when possible.  Laughing makes everything easier, happier and it is such a healthy exercise. Life has so much more to offer. Think of the people who love you. They are the perfect reason why you should always wear a smile on your face.

6: Believe that you are the creator of your desired destination. Nobody is able to take your enthusiastic future from you except yourself. Design your authentic life and don’t allow anybody to ruin or rule your life. You’re the master of your own life.  So instead of subjecting yourself to exactly what you will be bound for, create your own direction by grabbing the initial step with a positive attitude. As long as there’s still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime.

7: Increase your self-confidence and knowledge by observing and learning positive things from people around you. You may come across people with different way of thinking in your life, but don’t let other’s negativity affect your vision or stop you from being the best person you can be.

Instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive attitude. And with achieving positive will you can surely enjoy the power of positive thought and having a happier life.

“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” ― Socrates

Achieving Your Goal

Achieving your goal need determination, discipline and perseverance.

Do you have long-term projects with short-term expectations?  If you do, that is a sure path to frustration and failure.

Lifestyle goals such as exercise and healthy diet have to become habits in order to be effective.  Career change also takes time and planning, and it doesn’t happen overnight.

Your world has shifted.  There’s voice mail, e-mail, pagers, and faxes that have made a “waiting” period unacceptable and almost obsolete.  With information immediately available, we expect relationships and goal achievement to be done the same.  As you read this you know that it is unreasonable to expect that, don’t you?  We’ve been led by advertisers to believe that we deserve immediate gratification, and that it is readily and effortlessly available!

When you want to train a puppy, you know that it’s going to take time and consistent reinforcement.  You’re ready for that, because you want your puppy to behave in an acceptable way.  Why then, are you so patient with the puppy and so hard on yourself?

When you plant seeds in the garden, you tend them, water them, hope for sunlight and nurture them.  Are you nurturing yourself?

The best way to move gently and effectively towards your goals is to take a reasonable approach.  Break your long-term project goal into sub-goals.  Break it into doable, short-term chunks.  Today prepare the soil; tomorrow plant the seeds.

Each action you take and each step is satisfying because you know that it is contributing to the completion of your goal.  You cannot rush Mother Nature with your garden, and the same is true for your goals.

This process is much more than “bloom where you’re planted”, because when you’re the gardener you choose what to plant and how to nurture it.  Do the same for yourself, and grow yourself beautifully.

To start with, first, you have to have a clear and specified goal, then you have to make sure that you really desire to achieve it. For this purpose you need to make a clear image and visualization of your goal. By visualizing, you focus and channel your energies toward your goal. Your mind gets tackled toward finding solutions to bring your goal into manifestation.

By thinking in a positive manner on your goal, and not letting any doubts or fear enter your mind, your intuition starts working, you recognize opportunities, and you obtain energy at your disposal to follow your goals and dreams.

There are also subliminal messages which can program your mind for success. These messages go straight to the subconscious mind and activates its power and bring faster results.

It is so easy to daydream, and then say, well it was only a daydream, it will never happen!! But to achieve your goal, you have to be confident, have faith, determination and perseverance.

You have to be ready not to give up easily and have a strong self-motivation to overcome any obstacle and challenge which comes your way , and then your goal will be accomplished in due time.

 “Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.”   Brian Tracy


Happiness

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. “ Mahatma Gandhi ”

The most basic and primary duty for each one of us is to develop into a joyous being. To be satisfied is not the final word aspect of existence. It is life’s fundamental part. If we are not happy, what else can we do with our life? Only when we’re pleased, the door of great different opportunities could open to us.

Anything we do, it is simply our inner quality that we are going to spread.  We cannot do anything of tremendous value for our planet until anything of accurate value occurs within us. Thus, if we want to be connected to the world, the first thing we must do is to transform ourselves right into a happy beings.

It doesn’t matter what we do in our life, whether it is business, studying or giving assistance to someone or some cause , we’re doing it because deep down, it gives us satisfaction. Each activity that every individual executes on this globe rises from a desire. We were not unhappy when we were a child, as joy and happiness is a source which resides within each one of us. So all we have to do, is to go for it and take charge of that joy which is residing in us.

Everything in universe is in order. The sun comes wonderfully well up in the sky.  The flowers flourish beautifully, no stars falls along, and the galaxies are functioning perfectly. Today, the whole cosmos is occurring divinely well, but just a negative thought worming up on our brain enables us to believe that today is a poor day.

Suffering occurs basically when most human beings shed perception in regards of what this life is all about. Our emotional process become far larger than the existential procedure, or our petty creation become far more critical compared to GOD’s Creations, to place it bluntly. This is the way to obtain all suffering. We miss the complete sense of what this means to be alive here. An emotion within us or a thought within our mind establishes the nature of the experience right now. And our thought may have nothing to accomplish even with the restricted reality of our lifestyle. The entire creation is happening beautifully well but just one considered emotion can ruin everything.

Anything we consider as “our mind” isn’t ours basically. It is merely society’s empty talk. Everyone and anyone whom we encounter on a daily basis put some idea or information in our head and we truly have no choice about whose idea we accept or don’t accept. These information are advantageous once we learn HOW TO process them and use them. This accumulation of opinions and information that we collect is simply useful for our survival on the planet. It is not something which is related to who we are.

The first thing we need to do when we get up in the morning, is to smile. At whom? No one. Since just the fact that we have woke up is not a small matter. A lot of thousands of people who slept yesterday evening didn’t wake up today. Isn’t it great that we woke up? Look as you woke up, look around you, if there is someone, smile at them. Because this morning, for numerous people, someone precious to them didn’t get up. Then venture out, take a deep breath and look at the bushes. They didn’t die yesterday either.

You may think this is really funny, but you won’t know its reality until someone dear to you doesn’t wake up. So don’t wait until you understand the value of it. Appreciate what you have, be happy that you are alive and everyone who matters to you is still around.

Of course, people who do not have food or the basic needs for living can feel physically miserable and their needs must be addressed. Our duty as a human being is to help them and take care of such people when we encounter them. But most people are unhappy not as a result of what they don’t have. It is because they compare their life to others. You are driving on a motorbike, you see somebody in a Mercedes and you become unhappy. But for someone who is driving a bicycle, your motorbike seems like a limousine.

Life is about learning and appreciating what GOD has created for us on this plant. It is not about twisting and distorting it. When we rely on the external situation to make us joyful and content, we could never feel true happiness.

The quality of our life doesn’t depend on what car we drive, how much money we have in a bank account, or how big our house is, but how content and happy we feel inside.

It is positively time now that we look inside of ourselves and see HOW TO create personal wellbeing. From our own experience of life we can clearly observe that wellbeing will come to us when we change our perception on life. We need to realize, if we are determined by the outside factors to create our happiness and wellbeing. It will never happens, as nothing will be %100 the way we want them to be. When we accept this fact, then we will be able to work on ourselves as an individual to become the person we want to be. And happiness will be our only choice which has been our authentic nature by creation in the first place.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” Thich Nhat Hanh