Category Archives: Positive change

The Victory Of Success

The more difficult the victory, the greater happiness in winning.

The victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay the price.

The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of work.

The victory is always possible for people who believe in themselves and refuse to stop fighting.

The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to achieving your dreams.” ― Og Mandino

What is the victory? This question often appears in our minds when we read success stories about high achievers or great people on media. Sometimes, we ponder how difficult is it to achieve the highest position and to turn the dreams in reality? But in fact, if we want to know about the reality of those stories, we would find that there is always a dream and a focused approach of attaining something higher or unreachable – to make impossible possible.

The first step to the victory is creating a goal. You will set a goal that you believe in. You will stop complaining about your life and start changing it. You will keep your drive and commitment and follow through to the end. And then you will achieve your goal.

When we set a goal, it is important to realize that most of the time we are in “journey mode”. This means we will be focused on the process and actions we need to take to get where we want to go. If our goal is to climb Mount Everest, and we are only thinking about being on the top, we “jam” our Creative Mechanism at the present, as we have to take care of each step along the way. Focus on the journey most of time – and occasionally, once or twice a day tune into your goal by visualizing it. Then get back to the journey mode and simply turn your goal over to your subconscious or Creative Mechanism, to guide you there without effort. Always program the goal first, and then get busy on the process – and if you don’t know the process yet, give yourself space to allow the process of “how” to come to you. The “how” will come to you when you are relaxed not when you are tensed and trying to force your way through process.

Five rules to free your Creative Mechanism:

  1. Do your worrying before you start for your goal, not after the wheel starts turning. If there are a number of roads toward your goal, anxiety is creative as you decide which road to take, but once you selected your road, you stick to it without worry.
  2. Form the habit of consciously responding to the present moment.  Our creative mechanism can only respond successfully and appropriately in the “now” if we pay attention to what is happening now. It can’t react successfully to what may happen, but to what is happening.
  3. Try to do one thing at the time. Think of hourglass. One grain of frustration after another during your day, or one grain of confidence after another? You make the decision. The truth is: We can do only one thing at the time. Realizing this, and convincing ourselves of this simple and obvious truth enables us to concentrate all our awareness and responsiveness on only this one thing we are doing now. When we work with this attitude, we are relaxed, free from hurry and anxiety, and we are able to concentrate and think at our best.
  4. Sleep on a problem when it defies solution, not with it. If you have been wrestling with a problem all day without making any apparent progress, try dismissing it from your mind, and put off making a decision until you had a chance to sleep on it. The creative mechanism works best when there is not too much interference from our conscious “I” in the sleep.
  5. Try to be relaxed while you work. Confidence means relaxation, frustration means tension. Practice becoming more consciously aware of what is happening now, as this has a magical result in relieving the “jitters”. Next time when you feel yourself tensing up, and becoming nervous, pull yourself up short and say: “What is there here and now that I should respond to? That I can do something about?” A great deal of nervousness is caused from unwittingly trying to do something that cannot be done here and now.

If you want to be victorious in life; if you want to win in life, you must keep moving. You keep moving in the streams of things, doing the best you can. And if you have no goal, you still keep moving anyway; and a goal will catch up with you. “Never have a fear of defeat and always have the courage to turn the impossible into possible and to never lose your heart at any stage!”

During a creative day, your sense of direction is forward. And if you fail today after doing your best, then you take aim on your goals tomorrow, until you win. You must always have a focused struggle with consistent hard work and definite aim, and as a result; one day you will achieve your goal for which you have been dreaming for years. And this would be the VICTORY.


Life Affirming Beliefs Will Change Your Life

Life affirming words help refine our thoughts and convert the dynamic of our brain.

Life affirming phrases empowers us with a deep sense of reassurance that our wishful words will become reality.

Life affirming statements are proven activities of self-improvement because of their ability to rewire our brain.

Life affirming phrases helps us to believe in the potential of the action we want to take. They help us to reaffirm our life, our self-image, and realizing that there is no life without it.

Life affirming beliefs are primary principle for planning a creative living every day. We reach our true potential through aspiration. We must aspire every day, not only for ourselves but for others; for our friends, for our community, for our church, or for temple.

“Life affirming words enhance the metamorphosis from the average mindset of lack and ingratitude, to a consciousness of abundance, gratitude, compassion and confidence. Affirmations make possibilities possible. Unless you believe that something is possible, you will not seek to actualize it.”

Life affirming remarks are positive statements that are full of creative energy. Everything we say, think, and focus on has energy. Therefore we must extend this positive life affirming energy toward others. We must not allow competitiveness to blind us to our role as a member of the great human family. We must affirm our humanity. The misfortunes of others must be our misfortunes, we must feel for others.

We must assert our life affirming belief in today and in tomorrow. Life changes every day; we must vibrate every day to the inspiration of worthwhile goals, avoiding negative feelings and reactivating our success mechanism within us.

In the sequence of thought-speech-action, affirmations play an integral role by breaking patterns of negative thoughts, negative speech, and, in turn, negative actions.”

We must free ourselves from harsh moral judgements, and enrich ourselves to understand and love our human brothers and sisters, if we first learn to understand and love ourselves.

A few months back I was walking down one of Perth’s crowded streets. I saw a taxi wheel around a corner, and slow down and stopped to discharge a passenger. Another car, following the corner couldn’t stop in time, and there was a mild collision.

The driver of the cab, of course, came out to inspect the damage to the rear of his vehicle. There was none. He said to the car driver: “Forget it.” He climbed in to his taxi, and pulled off into the traffic.

He could have made a big fuss; other drivers have hired lawyers for less, but his brotherly feeling for his fellow man was too strong. As I kept walking, going toward my destination, I found myself smiling at the sincere brotherliness of the taxi driver behaviour.

To me this meant an affirmation of the positive life force, a life affirming belief to reach out to people, in the midst of a traffic crowded street of a busy city.

It is a life affirming of good relations among people which, to a large extent, is life. The world needs you to share your essence. Don’t waste another minute denying yourself or others of your brilliance. Affirm Your Life Now!

 


Listening to Others Generates Creativity and Connection

Listening to others is an art, a path to other people’s heart.

Listening to others, especially those with whom we disagree, tests our own ideas and beliefs.

Listening to others forces us to realize, with humility, that we don’t have a monopoly on the truth.

Listening to others actively and emphatically, or having ears for others is hard sometimes, but we must learn to practice it so that we will be able to master it. We must develop the capacity to hear others. It is important to hear what others say, not just to hear ourselves talk.

Listening to others (Having ears for others) is the third facets in planning a creative day.

The art of emphatic listening to others is the art of understanding; it is the art of progress; it is the art of having a meaningful conversations with others. In this art of listening we have to think of our ears as two extra eyelids, we have to be non judgmental and not making assumptions. By listening to others we learn to open our ears to the opinion of other; we learn that others are just as good as we are, even if they have faults, as we have faults too. We learn to open our ears to reason because reason very often has a difficult time in this world, and people refuse to listen to it.

Listening to others is a path to other people’s heart, an effort requiring patience, sometimes a battle with yourself, and a skill you need to learn in order to evolve as a person and unleash your potential.

Many of us have gotten used to talking without listening to others. This problem unfortunately is common in our modern society; and since the attitude that characterizes our narcissistic society is “no view is as enlightened and informed as my view,” we don’t even bother to consider what others have to say.

When we listen, we communicate. And how we listen determines how well we can communicate.

The word conversation generally brings to mind talking. However, if you’ve ever seen two people trying to talk to each other at the same time, you’ll know that listening is just as important. In fact, listening is half of a successful conversation; you take turns to talk, and everyone feels heard. This is great communication.”

If we listen well and honestly, we become part of a creative communication that invigorates, challenges, renews, excites and may contribute to an exchange of ideas that benefits everyone. If we don’t listen well, we will not grow or learn or interact with others in a way that is rewarding to everyone.

Not listening to others well is to be a selfish act, as we shut ourselves off from others. It is not necessarily a form of arrogance, but it may well be interpreted that way. People don’t like to be around the inattentive, mind-wandering listeners. In fact, people flock more readily to the good listener than to the self-involved, brilliant declaimer, who mainly wants to hear himself, or herself.

Just as we sometimes need to talk out our problems, having someone truly listen to us may make us feel better about life in general. We may not even be looking for advice or counsel as much as we are looking for validation of who we are. Being listened to, is reaffirming and comforting. And listening to others, truly listening, is often the best form of learning about life or helping to solve a problem, either at work or in a personal relationship.

We have to have ears for ourselves too, to listen to the heartbeat of our mind, to the clock within us that clicks away the joys and sorrows we are heir to. If we have to shut our ears, then we have to learn to shut them to prejudices, to skirting around the truth, to the daily threat of negative feelings.

Enterprise is a matter of communication, of self image, of strength, of going toward life without fear. It is a matter in planning a creative day.

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

 


Be True To Yourself and Reach Your Potential

Be true to yourself as it is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Be true to yourself, and your feelings. Those are the only things in your life that will never lie to you.

Be true to yourself, make each day your masterpiece, and most importantly believe in yourself.

Be true to yourself is a statement that we hear all the time, but it is the truth. We all have our own values, beliefs, personality traits, and desires. When we deny any part of our authentic self, we die a little death on the inside. Our uniqueness makes us who we are. By being true to ourselves, we also give everyone else permission to do the same.

To be true to yourself (Return to yourself) is the second facets in planning a creative day. In order not to retreat from life, but return to it during our creative day, we must utilize our potentialities. Thinking is a great gift; it is what makes us superior to the animal. Whatever our capacities, we can think within those capacities. Whatever we think our limitations are, we must think clearly within those limitations we give to ourselves. And we are sure to learn that we are more than we think we are. We must learn that such understanding is not mere meditation; it is a thought in action. Thinking here is not passive but an active process.

To be true to yourself, to the best version of yourself is not a onetime event. It is a continuous decision you must make every day, or even every hour. Sometimes you make good decisions and you can be true to yourself. Sometimes you betray your true self. Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up, don’t rebuke yourself, and keep in mind that it takes courage to be true to who you are in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, measuring you up or judging you at every turn. But also know this that whoever you are, you have got that courage within you. And if you make up your mind, you can search deep down and gather that courage to be your true self.

You must take time off every day, even if only ten or fifteen minutes to review yourself, to return to yourself, to return to your realistic self image. You must admit your failures, but realize that they are part of the process of living. None of us is perfect; we dare not to deny ourselves the opportunity to improve.

As a part of your creative day, you must return to yourself and remember:

  1. That you can succeed in your future undertakings as you once did in the past.
  2. That in order to be true to yourself, you can correct mistakes and rise above your failures.
  3. That every day is a new lifetime and you have to start anew to reach your goal.
  4. That in such realization you become your own creator and plan the day for yourself positively.
  5.  That negative feelings take you away from yourself and make you less than you are.
  6. That every day you must fight negative feelings and struggle to arrive at self-fulfillment.
  7. That arrogance keeps you away from learning of how to be true to yourself, to be true to others and it keeps you away from GOD.
  8. That in returning to yourself you have the opportunity to profit from your mistakes. You can compassionately remove self-hatred and improve your self image.
  9. That with a strong self image you will never need to withdraw from life, and you can always be true to yourself.

Why is return to self a face of creative day?

Because when you feel this sense of inner strength, you can be true to yourself and you will not use any excuse to retreat from life.

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

 


The Pursuit Of Personal Excellence

Personal excellence is gained by the gradual result of always striving to do better.

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential, these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

Personal excellence is not about being a perfectionist. It is not a goal to be reached, a project to prove anything to anyone, satisfy anyone’s expectations, or unnecessarily stressing ourselves through being obsessive and impatient. Personal excellence is a personal resolve to do whatever we are doing the best we can, in the moment with an openness to the possibility of better ways.
Personal excellence is the life-long process of developing specific mental skills that will lead us to increase the levels of our intelligent self-direction. It is a process of becoming the best person we can be and is reflected in how we are, as well as what we do. Personal excellence is a journey of positive development beyond one’s self. It manifests in self-defined and self-valued achievements that reflect one’s best efforts.
Personal excellence is indicated in people who develop their gifts and talents to the fullest, achieving a harmony in how they think, feel, behave, and believe that leads to productive relationships and outcomes.
It seems as if those pursuing personal excellence do go about some things differently. In some cases, these behaviours are planned and quite deliberate, while in others they are implicit and not done consciously. The good news is that many of these behaviours can be learned and cultivated as we pursue our own pathway towards personal excellence.
There is nothing more satisfying than overcoming a challenge that was previously deemed insurmountable; nothing more satisfying than looking back at who you are now and realizing that you have grown much more than you thought you could. To be human is to live to our highest potential.”

Personal excellence in virtually all domains is guided by mental factors. And the experiences of exceptional performers suggest that there are six critical elements of excellence: Commitment, Belief, Full Focus, Mental Readiness, Distraction Control and Constructive Evaluation. These elements combine to form a “Wheel of Excellence” that provides a working framework to guide the pursuit of personal excellence.

  1. Commitment: The first essential ingredient guiding the pursuit of personal excellence is commitment. To excel at anything we must have or develop a very high level of dedication, self-discipline, passion, joy or love for what we are doing. We must truly commit ourselves to be the best we can be and continuously strive to make personal improvements and meaningful contributions. We require commitment to persevere through the ups and downs associated with becoming our best and maintaining our best performance in order to achieve personal excellence.
  2. Belief/Self-Confidence: Personal excellence is guided by belief in our potential, our goal, the meaningfulness of our goal, and trust in our capacity to reach that goal. Believing in ourselves and having confidence in our capacity allows us to extend our limits, create our own opportunities and push through performance barriers. Where there is firm belief in our capacity to carry out a mission and absolute connection with our performance, doors are opened to higher levels of excellence. When negative thoughts interfere with trust, performance wobbles. In the same way that belief can unlock doors, doubts can place limits on possibilities and potentials. In the presence of belief our performance blossoms; in its absence we can never touch our potential.
  3. Full Focus: Focusing is the single most important mental skill associated with performance of personal excellence. It refers to the ability to concentrate fully on what we are doing, seeing, reading, hearing, learning, feeling, observing or experiencing while we are engaged in the activity or performance. Focusing fully not only allows us to connect totally with what we are experiencing, but also frees us to perform without being disturbed by distracting thoughts.
  4. Mental Readiness: Personal excellence requires us to become skilled at getting the most out of our daily learning and living experiences. This begins with a commitment to make the most of each learning and performance opportunity. Personal excellence demands that we develop an effective way to enter a high-quality, focused performance zone on a consistent basis. We need an effective mental plan that is capable of bringing us to an intensified state of readiness for learning and performance. To excel at learning, performing, or living, we must extend an openness to learn and a commitment to an ongoing personal growth. We must engage ourselves in a continual process of self- discovery, and act upon those discoveries that lead us to our best focus and best performances. Our focus is the leader. When we discover what works best and feels best, we must follow that path, even in the face of obstacles from others who may dictate another path.
  5. Distraction Control: The fifth element of personal excellence is controlling distractions. And it refers to our ability to maintain or to regain a positive, effective focus when faced with potential distractions, negative input, or setbacks. These distractions may be external, arising from our environment, or internal, emerging from our own thoughts or expectations. Maintaining and regaining a constructive focus is an essential part of performing to our capacity on a consistent basis, whether distractions occur before, during, between or after events. Developing our ability to refocus in a positive direction is an extremely important factor affecting the consistency of our performance in all areas.
  6. Constructive Evaluation: Personal excellence entails us to develop an effective process for personal evaluation, and act upon the lessons drawn from these evaluations. Constructive evaluation includes looking for the good things and targeting areas for improvement in ourselves, our performance, and our experiences. We can draw inspiration, confidence and joy from reflecting on positive experiences and personal achievements.

“To achieve something that you’ve never achieved before, you must become someone that you have never been before.” – Les Brown


Positive Mental Attitude

We control our mental attitude by positive attitude not by rules.

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly

It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thought make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. ― Swami Vivekananda

Mental attitude is the way we think and talk to ourselves. Our mental attitude plays more of a role in our life that we might think. What we tell ourselves and the daily messages we allow ourselves to take in make a significant contribution toward the creation of the person we are, end up becoming or will ever be.
Think of thoughts as opportunity creators. The more positive messages we allow ourselves to have or take in, the more opportunities we will be open to realize and take advantage of.
This is why it is important for us to do our best to deal with, communicate and listen to what is good and of value. Doing so frees our mind from negativity, deception, gossip and all other harsh messages that can be destructive to our efforts of maintaining a positive mental attitude and character.
Developing a mental attitude take courage and when we combine the two, we come up with mental courage. It takes a person of great courage to be able to control their thoughts and internal messages, and filter external messages deliberately and consistently especially while living in a society where it is far from the norm.
People with positive mental attitude can push themselves through the worst life’s challenges without feeling emotional intensity. On the other hand, people with negative mental attitude are always vulnerable to suffering. Even enjoyment is less pleasing to them, as they have to work hard to get out of darkness, just to see the light.
Here are some ways that we can all work toward developing a positive outlook on life.

  1. Focus on present: by concentrating on the present as much as possible, we can minimize the worries and fears that lead to negative emotions.
  2. Use Positive Language: It is very easy to fall into the negative language pattern.  Many of us do so without being aware of it. Have you ever realized that some people constantly complain about the weather, their job, their spouse, their children, and any number of other things? Language is central to our experience of being human. And studies have shown that the languages we speak profoundly shape the way we think, the way we see the world, the way we live our lives, and as a result the way our mental attitudes shape. As Willie Nelson said: “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results”.
  3. Stop negative thoughts: In order to maintain a positive mental attitude, learning to hit the reset button is one of the best techniques. Hitting the reset button is about taking a precautionary approach to how we respond to life and its challenges. And it prevents us from drowning in our own negative thoughts. It is the conscious effort of eliminating negativity and disillusionment as soon as it enters our mind. And it helps us not to let negative external thoughts and factors to control or affect us as much or as long.
  4. Accept things as they are: Not accepting things as they are is a fight against reality. It resists what’s real and keeps us thinking and analysing to try to make sense of it so that we feel better. But it doesn’t work, and it won’t bring us happiness. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, and rather than wasting our energy on negative emotions, it’s better to just accept that things didn’t go the way we planned or wanted.
  5. Find positive people: We tend to take in and reflect the emotions and attitudes of those we spend time with. If we’re hanging around negative people who complain and worry much of the time, then we are bound to catch their indisposition. So the more often we keep company people with positive mental attitude, the more likely it is that we will start to think and act in the same way.
  6. Find a reason to laugh: As Mark Twain said: “Humour is the great thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardness yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away”. Laughter is fun, it touches our souls, and it is a wonderful way to reduce stress, to connect with those around us, and to make us feel better all round. Even smiling affects us in positive ways.
  7. Contribute In a meaningful way: Time has taught me that helping others is one of the simplest ways to fill our life with joy and fulfilment. And I believe that one of the best ways to feel more positive is to contribute to a society to make life worth living. Sharing our time and effort with a cause will allow us a brief escape from our current problems, and perhaps may even allow us to see our troubles in a different light.
  8. Practice gratefulness: Express your appreciation for where you are and what you have in life right now, even if feels like you still have a long way to go. Positive psychology research proves that gratitude is strongly associated with the emotions that help us enjoy greater health and happiness. And People who embody gratitude into their daily lives have a more optimistic outlook on life.

Our mental attitude will determine how far we will go in life, and a positive mental attitude can help us deal with the inevitable bumps in the road that will be on our path to success and happiness. Creating and maintaining a positive mental attitude can give us the inner strength we need to overcome adversity of any kind. As Thomas Jefferson once said: “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”


Control Your Anger

Control your anger or it will control you.

Control your anger as it can cloud your ability to make good decisions and find creative solutions to problems.  It can negatively affect your work performance.

With insight about the real reasons for your anger and learning anger management techniques, you will be able to control your anger and keep your temper from hijacking your life.

Control you anger, don’t let your anger control you. The emotion of anger is not always a negative feeling to experience. In fact, being angry in some ways can be a positive outlet and something that should not be ignored. However, having rage inside that results in harmful tendencies towards ourselves or other people, and from which the source is painful experience, is not healthy at all. This type of anger should be dealt with, before it escalates into more negative experiences, as it may destroy our relationships, limit our opportunities, and even damage our health.  Control your anger because it is just ONE Letter away from danger. 

Having trouble controlling anger is a major issue in many individual’s lives. Addressing this issue can be difficult if the person is unwilling to admit to their problem and seek help. It is imperative that people be supportive and encouraging to those with anger issues. At times it may seem impossible since these people can be hurtful and even violent. Helping them to realize they need help would be the initial step to controlling their anger.
According to psychologist T.W. Smith, anger is “an unpleasant emotion ranging in intensity from irritation or annoyance to fury or rage.”
In order to control your anger, there are some anger management techniques which you can use when you find yourself in a stressful situation. But keep in mind that these strategies are only a general guide. If anger continues to be a problem, you might need to seek the help of a suitably qualified health professional, especially if your anger hurts others, or if it causes you physical pain or emotional distress.

  1. When your temper starts to raise, mentally challenge yourself before taking out your anger on others. Ask yourself these questions: What is the source of my irritation?  What is the degree of my anger? What is the other person’s actual role in the situation? Then turn the circumstances around to see how you would want to be treated if the other person felt as you do. These mental gymnastics will help you to control your anger, and regain control over your runaway emotions before they escape and cause external damage.
  2. In those moments when you feel the familiar rage start to flare, excuse yourself if others are present and take a quick walk down the hall or outdoors, depending on whether you are at home or at work, and the weather conditions. Take a 5 to10 minute stroll, especially one that is fast paced. It will help you to control your anger, and cool your irritation as you practice the fight-or-flight strategy by escaping the potential conflict. This is one of the most popular and useful anger management techniques. “A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a thousand moments of regret”.
  3. Another technique recommended for anger management is relaxation. Angry feelings and emotions can be calmed down by relaxing exercises such as deep breathing, relaxing imagery and slow nonstrenuous exercise similar to ygoa. When you become irritated and headed for a fit of anger, it is suggested that by breathing deeply from your diaphragm will help you to relax. Also by using relaxing imagery, allowing your mind and thought to go to a happy place, or a past relaxing experience may help you to calm down and control your anger.
  4. Problem solving is another anger management technique. It is important for an individual to discover the reason for their anger. Anger is a natural response to certain situations and at times it is an acceptable reaction but there are other incidents when the anger is not appropriate. There is a reason for the anger and to every problem there is said to be a solution. When a situation arises, the individual is taught not to focus on the solution but rather the problem. Finding ways to handle the problem and confront it is the main objective in this anger management technique. It may take a while to conform to this plan, but it is important to stick to it, as eventually the answers will come.
  5. Another great anger management technique is to write down your thoughts and emotions during a fit of anger. Sometimes sharing or talking to someone else about your feelings may only cause extra conflict. Whereas by Writing or journalizing, not only you will be able to get your feelings off your chest, but also it will help you to calm down and control your anger. Using writing as an anger management technique may also help in the future when trying to find the triggers which cause the angry outbursts. Being able to look back over the information written may provide you with reasons for your anger through reading about similar incidents.
  6. Taking a vacation, spending some alone time is another good anger management tip which can help you to control your anger tendencies. Removing yourself from the environment which seems to frustrate and irritate you may be a wise idea. Being able to get away and reflect on your actions may help you to look at things differently. Given space and time may be positive for a person with anger issues.
  7. Write out a response to a problem before tackling it orally or in debate.  This will give you time to think about the best approach to a problem rather than responding with random anger.
  8. Some people suggest prayer and meditation as anger management tips. Both of these suggestions involve very personal practices for an individual. Given a chance to pray and be alone with one’s thoughts is a good way to release tension and let the pressures of life wash away. Letting go of feelings of anger and negative thoughts would definitely make a positive change in a person’s life. Through prayer and meditation not only you are able to dig deep into your mind and soul for answers to your problems but it will also help you finding comfort and strength in your spirit to control your anger penchant.
  9. People with anger issues are taught through anger management techniques to practice better communication skills. Often a fit of anger arises because an individual misunderstood a conversation. Before giving it any thought, they become enraged and filled with anger. Anger management teaches the individual to slow down their thinking, think before they speak or react. The easily angered person needs to listen to the underlying message and try not to jump to conclusions. When feeling on the defensive side, the individual should learn not to fight back. Listening rationally to what the other person has to say might make a huge difference in a reaction.

There are many other techniques and tips which may be helpful if you are requiring help to control your anger tendencies. Tips such as get more rest, get out in nature, find humour in the situation and play or listen to music. There are also many books, movies and websites on the Internet which can provide information regarding anger management techniques and on how to control your anger issues.

Let Go of Worry

Let go of worry, of what you can’t control, and be mindful of the present moment.

Let go of worry. Worrying doesn’t help you to deal with a problem, it only makes it more difficult to find clarity.

Let go of worry. Worry and Fear dominate the thinking of so many people today. It is tragic that how negative thinking can take hold of us, dragging us down into despair.
“Worry is fear in disguise. And fear will eat you from the inside out if you let it.” ― Jim Butcher
Worry is helpful if it prompts us to take action and resolve a problem, but it can become destructive when we find it hard to let go, and our minds become engaged with worst-case scenarios.
Sometimes, there are real reasons to worry; the rising cost of living, public-sector cuts, job insecurity. But there are many instances when we all become distressed for no logical reason, which has an impact on creating anxiety.
Everyone worries from time to time. But for some people, “worry is a way of life”.
The college student who spends half of his time worrying about radioactive fallout knows nothing of real living. Sure he can try to realistically improve the situation. He can write his congressman or organize a group to discuss the problem; but when he buries his being in worry, this is only self-destruction.

The young mother whose thoughts are full of anxiety about her children is also wasting her time. Not that she shouldn’t teach them about life’s dangers, not that she shouldn’t try to protect them from crisis, but after that, why the self torture? It won’t help
Let go of worry, of all these worries about the events that might happen in the future, or about things you can’t change, and more, you can justify if you wish. You can tell yourself you are only realistic, but you are really not.
When we substitute worry for living, we must take responsibility for it. Because it is really up to us; we can let go of worry and make our days inspiring, or we can make them miserable.
Still if you haven’t been able to let go of worry, and have wasted some of your life moping, don’t blame yourself for it. You are not perfect, no one is, and self-blame will not help you. Just read what I have to say and see if my ideas won’t help you to live more meaningfully.
“I vow to let go of worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Practice positive thinking in order to let go of worry. It allows you to focus on your strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows you to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. We all encounter roadblocks from many sources in our lives, but we can overcome them only if we adopt positive attitude toward ourselves, and if we see ourselves as someone we like, as someone with whom we would like to be friends.
If you want to let go of worry, you must understand, first the incredible power of your mind; for good or bad. It is not easy to comprehend that in a world of superhighways and skyscrapers, of atomic energy and astronauts speeding through outer space, it is the simple concepts and images in your mind that can make you happy or miserable. You must understand that, though we seem to hear mostly the negative, there are two sides to the coin. Even within the many confines of civilization, the human being may still be free and happy.
“A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you”

The following tips provide practical suggestions which can help you to shift into more positive thinking patterns, and let go of worry:

  1. Remind yourself of the things you are grateful for: Always concentrate on the little joys that happen in your life throughout a day. Allow these moments of delight carry you over the ones with distress and hopelessness, and record them in a gratitude journal. This exercise will help you to open your eyes and have more appreciation for what you have in your life and help you to let go of worry.
  2. Detach yourself from negative thoughts: Thoughts can be very powerful in generating negative and distressing feelings. And distressing feelings can in turn be a strong driver for negative and unhelpful behaviours which discourage us from living our lives according to our values and priorities. Therefore it is useful to develop the ability to stop, step back, take a deep breath and examine our thoughts to determine their accuracy or helpfulness. In this way we are able to accept, listen to, follow those thoughts that are accurate or helpful; and reject those thoughts that are inaccurate or unhelpful..
  3. Take good care of yourself: Exercise, proper nutrition, and getting enough sleep make it easier to maintain a positive attitude. A healthy diet creates a nourished body and mind and sustains high performance in everyday life. And being physically active regularly increases energy levels, reduces stress and promotes health. Getting the appropriate amount of exercise benefits our mental health and mood. It promote releasing the body’s feel-good hormones, lowering the stress hormone, and making it easier for us to let go of worry and negative thoughts.
  4. Change your perspective: Everything is energy, our thoughts begin it, our emotions amplify it, and our action increase the momentum. Energy flows where we focus our attention. We have a choice to direct or focus our thoughts on either positive or negative. So what happens when our thoughts become negative, repetitive, distorted, and intrusive? Naturally, they turn destructive; they affect us, they impact our results, our success, and our health. There are ways to deal with them: The first way is to send STOP command to our mind to interrupt the progression of those destructive thoughts, and then SWAP them by positive thoughts. Always keep a list of positive, happy, healthy, constructive thoughts, and swap away. And the second way is as Dale Carnegie, has explained in his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living book: “First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” So, ask, accept and proceed.
  5. Nurture your relationships: When we nurture our relationship with our loved ones, it can contribute to far greater happiness than any money or material things that we could possess. We are all on this earth for a limited time. Spending time with family and friends, listening to them, laughing with them, hugging them, supporting them and being there for them is worth more than anything else we could ever give. Love and affection can have many positive effects on our mental health and mood. Studies have shown a decrease in stress hormones in people who feel a sense of support and a bond with someone, even by phone or email.
  6. Increase Your Social Activity: People have a huge impact on our lives. Surround yourself with happy people, who will uplift and encourage you. Their positive energy can affect you in a positive way, and decrease your loneliness. “Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.” – Karl Marx
  7. Relax by giving yourself some time: For most of us life can get busy and pretty full sometimes. So always make sure to set aside some time every day to relax reading a book, sitting in the garden with the sun on your face, or doing meditation. You’ll find that your feelings of anxiety subside and you let go of worry. Go to bed early at night time, so you can feel your best and fresh the next day after having enough sleep.
  8. Smile: Smiling to others and ourselves is a gift of love. It triggers happy feelings in the brain, reduces stress and help us to let go of worry and negative thoughts. A deep inner smile spreads like a relaxing medicine, making us responsive to transforming negative energy into positive. Smile therapy lowers the stress hormones and produces hormones that relax muscles, reduce pain, and stabilise mood. But even if you don’t feel like smiling, can you fake it till you make it? As even a surface smile tricks the brain into releasing happy hormones. So never underestimate the power of a smile. Use yours and you’ll find it helps you to disperse sadness, dissolve stress, and uplift your mood.
  9. Live in the moment: To live in the moment, or now, means being conscious in the present with all of our senses. Joy is often about living in the moment, being absorbed in what we’re doing, not grieving on the past or worrying about the future. By grasping each moment of our life, we will be able to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. It doesn’t mean that we don’t need a plan, a goal or prepare ourselves for the future. We can decide what we really want and go for it, but still enjoy each moment as it unfolds. Worry and fear are most often experienced when we are inactive and thinking about the future. By being fully present and engaged, putting our hearts and souls in something we do, we are able to let go of worry and replace destructive thoughts with the rush of pure excitement. When we become positive and optimistic in the present, we open the possibility of a positive and promising future. “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you” – Dan Millman


Personal Motivation Is the Key to Success

Personal motivation is what pushes us to achieve our goals, feel more fulfilled and improve overall quality of life.

Personal motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. 

Personal motivation is the key to success. It is a combination of determination, expertise, and purpose to maintain in order to achieve a high level of success.

Self-motivation is the inner power, an internal drive that pushes us to keep moving forward, to develop, to produce, and to achieve. When we find ourselves ready to quit something or we just don’t know how to start; it is our self-motivation which pushes us to go on. It is the internal voice that says, “I am an autonomous person who has power over my choices and my actions. I can affect positive changes in my life if I work for them”.
“The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it is possible to achieve your dream”
“Personal motivation is an internal, impalpable force that causes a person’s effort, drive and persistence toward the achievement of a worthwhile goal. The degree and strength of an individual’s personal motivation is the single most important factor in determining the extent to which he or she will commit to do what needs to be done to achieve the desired result. Without personal motivation, little of any significance is usually achieved in spite of the existence of the necessary knowledge skills and resources. With it, anything is possible regardless of whether or not those elements are present”.
It is easy enough to dream and plan, but many people get stuck in this phase indefinitely and avoid taking action.  Planning and dreaming might make you feel like you’re doing something about your goals, but if you never actually take a step forward you’ll never achieve them.  In order to see measurable progress, you have to step out of your comfort zone and take action.
“People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents” –Andrew Carnegie
When you finally do gather your courage and begin moving forward, what usually happens?  You realize it’s WAY harder than you thought it would be, right?  It feels like you’re trying to run uphill.  You keep tripping over obstacles, facing setbacks and delays, dealing with fear and anxiety, and fighting a daily battle to find motivation to keep moving forward.
It’s during this difficult phase that most people give up.  They decide that “it isn’t meant to be” right now, so they set their goal aside and promise to try again later.  Or worse, they resign themselves to a mediocre life because they don’t believe they have what it takes to succeed.  They’ve “failed,” so they’re not going to try any more. Have you done this?  Most people have! However, this doesn’t have to be the end of the story.  You can pick up your dreams, dust them off and try again.  “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run”.
Most people quit during the difficult phase because they think it’s ALWAYS going to be this hard.  What they don’t realize is that every effort they put toward the achievement of their goals will build on the previous efforts.  With every step forward the process gets easier and easier.  Finally, they’ve put so much energy and effort into the process that the internal drive begins to take over.  Suddenly they realize that they don’t have to push so hard to keep moving forward.  It becomes fun, even easy to achieve their goal.
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed” ― Michael Jordan
This same experience can be yours!  All you have to do is keep moving forward. Keep working toward your dreams and never quit.  Your internal force WILL take over eventually!
If you want to get that force working even more quickly for you there are a few ways to do it, but they can be summed up in one sentence:
Be willing to work harder, faster and take bigger risks than you have in the past
“A ship is always safe at the shore – but that is NOT what it is built for.” ― Albert Einstein
The reason why this internal drive can be delayed, is because sometimes many people take very tentative steps toward their goals.  They’re afraid to really give it their all, so they hold back much of the energy and power they could be devoting toward their goal.  Even if they’re not aware of it, they may feel more comfortable working at a slower pace, so they avoid taking big risks and instead they take baby steps
There’s not a thing wrong with this approach if it suits you!  However, if you want to make faster progress and to achieve your goal quickly, think about taking bigger steps and giving your full energy and focus toward making it happen.  By doing so, you’ll push through the difficult beginning and find yourself coasting before you know it.
 “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”  ― Nelson Mandela
As Zig Ziglar said, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily”. Whenever you’re struggling to get things done, turn to that quote for the inspiration and personal motivation you need to be the best you can be.


How To Stop Having Negative Thoughts

How to stop having negative thoughts. Let go of negative thinking as it can become a habit of mind, and it can have a serious, sometimes devastating impact on all aspects of your life. It seems unfortunately that with most people, positive thinking requires some effort, whereas, negative thinking comes easily and often uninvited.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” Eckhart Tolle

You must get rid of all your negative thoughts and false beliefs about yourself. You must redirect your frustrated aggression and resentment and find ways to overcome your feelings of loneliness and emptiness.

May I assure you of this: If you’ve never failed at anything, it is certainly that you never really tried anything? Or in the words of Roman philosopher Seneca, “If thou art a man, admire those who attempt great things, even though they fail”

Was Thomas Edison a failure? Of course not. The thought is absurd. Yet dozens of failures preceded most of his brilliant creations. Edison learned from his failures and built his success on them. Discovery is born on error; there are no creations without unsuccessful experiments.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” Thomas Edison

This sums up one of the most important lessons that I have learned from life:  Blunders, errors in judgement and applications are unavoidable unless we retreat from life into a state of apathy. And even then in that state of idleness, we still make mistake. The secret of successful living is to rise above our failures to our good moments. This is the key concept, to forget our errors, to stop grieving over them, to have compassion for our own human fallibility. Then unburdened with guilt, we can step out decidedly into the world, seeing ourselves at our best, formulating our goals, and bringing out into the game of life, our success instinct.

Never deny your mistakes, admit them freely. But learn from them to minimize your mistakes in future. Be tolerant toward yourself as you would be tolerant toward a friend or you must throttle your experimentation.

“Without failure we can learn nothing, and yet we have learned to treasure success as the only acceptable standard” Wayne W. Dyer

Every day examine the negative beliefs which pull you down. Do you feel stupid? Are you obsessed with the feeling that you are ugly? Or do you torture yourself with the thought that you are weak? I don’t know what negative beliefs you use to determine yourself. But I can assure you that your thinking is irrational. In examining your accusations against yourself, let’s see if you are not being unfair. If you punish yourself as being “stupid”, on what do you base this charge? Granted that you have been unwise, perhaps many times, have you never been wise? Have you never been shrewd? Have you never been intelligent?  Then your self-criticism is basically self-mutilation. What it comes down to, is that you feel you have no rights; you believe in short-changing yourself.

OK, sometimes, there might be a grain of reality to them, but are these the devastating indictments that you build them into? No, this is irrational thinking. People are people. The strong are weak, and the weak are strong. Some low-to-medium IQ people have rare common sense. Some homely-looking women are devoted friends and can look beautiful. Some people with physical handicaps are most compassionate. Some emotionally unstable people are extremely brilliant. These are greys; there are no black and whites. But what do you do to yourself with your negative thoughts? You make yourself all thumbs, all negating.

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” Albert Einstein

Now that you have examined your negative beliefs about yourself and are in the process of reducing them to reasonable proportions, let’s see how to stop having negative thoughts about yourself. If you can’t, at least maintain them at the reasonable dimensions so that you can live with them.

Go to the next step now, and visualize a success picture, one that you are really proud of. Fill your mind with it, see it, smell it, feel it, grab hold of this success picture and hold it in your mind. When the critical thoughts counterattack, kick them out, and do this process again and again. You have read and heard about people with a pacemaker in their hearts; who are living so graciously and with peace in mind; learn a lesson from them. Let your self-image be the pacemaker of your heart, your mind, and your soul. Each day reactivate your successful instincts until the success habit becomes part of you. Until it hypnotize you.

So how to stop having negative thoughts; Say to yourself: I shall concentrate on the confidence of my past successes, not on my past failures. I deserve the good things in life. I am the captain of my ship, and I shall steer my mind to a productive goal.

 “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul” William Ernest Henley