Category Archives: spiritual love

The Purpose of Life

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Throughout my life, I we all have untapped potential, perhaps even areas of genius, to become something entirely different, or somehow more than what we appear to be right now. Each of us has the ability to give contributions that will last longer than our lifespan. Some people have a clear vision of their purpose early on in life, it’s as if their path was laid out for them and they simply had to take the first step. But for some of us the vision is unclear and the path difficult to find. We find asking ourselves: Is this the life I was meant to live? Is this all there is?

“We have one precious life: do something extraordinary today, even if it’s tiny. A pebble starts the avalanche.” ~K.A. Laity

Let us not thinking that there is only one purpose for us and embrace the idea that our purpose in life is to love life fully by putting ourselves into our life! To lead a life on purpose, means to follow our passions and succeed in our dreams. It means that we make more of our talents and live up to our full potential. Whether our concept of success has to do with business, love, friendship, sports, a combination of these or something else, more fully developing our potential will help us to achieve our goals, and that is the purpose of life. If we can learn to assess our potential, set realistic goals, and go after those goals with determination, organization, using our potential more fully, gaining confidence, and be a happier and more successful person, then we will be able to achieve the purpose of our life.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

  • Claim Your Values: Values are the backbone of our life. We all have them, they are ingrained in us as our blood types or our preference for sweet or salty foods. I’m not talking about morals, which are defined by society. Values are who we are, not who we think we should be in order to fit in. If we don’t realize what’s important to us, we spend a lot of time wandering and wondering what we should be doing. There is tremendous power in discovering and living according to our highest values, and experiencing inner peace as the natural consequence. Sometime after evaluating our values, we realize that our urban lifestyle works against those values and leaves us disconnected and drained. Values serve as a compass so that, day after day, we’re moving closer and closer to our definition of the “best” life we could possibly live.
  • Find Your Passions: In this chaotic modern time, most people live in their head rather than their heart. Our heart is our best tool to access our true purpose and passion. “Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it’s something you are tremendously passionate about” ~ S. Pavlina. We have to ask ourselves, what we love and take steps to do what we love. When we are inspired and connected to our happy self, inspiration floods our hearts and souls. When we lead from our heart, we are naturally more joyful and motivated to explore. It could make all the difference in our life! If we don’t think we’re in the job that we were born to do, we won’t be able living up to our full potential and lead a life on purpose.
  • Identify Your Strengths: “To express the best of yourself in life and work, you must identify and channel your unique strengths.” If we want to live a life on purpose, we have to focus on our strengths and manage around our weaknesses. In order to recognize our strengths, we need other people to hold up a mirror. When we see our reflection through the eyes of those who know us well, then we begin to identify our most unique talents. When it comes to assessing our own strengths and talents, we’re full of blind spots. If we can see ourselves through the lenses of others, our vision will become less blurry
  • Find Yourself: “The intersection of your true values and super powers, backed with relentless passion, is where the magic happens.” ~ Scott Dinsmore. When we find where those three things intersect, and use it to service others, then we’ll find our purpose in life, and will be able to drive a life on that purpose. The key is to figure out how we can combine our passions and strengths to service to a cause, a person, a community, or an organization other than ourselves. Once we do that, our values will fall into place. Our purpose doesn’t have to be something BIG. The value of our impact on others and on the world has nothing to do with its scale. The fact is that in order for our world to function, we need people living and contributing at all kinds of different levels. “There are people for everything”. If we each could find and inhabit the sphere where we’re supposed to be, and contribute what we were made to contribute, what a beautiful world it would be!

There is a reason that we are all here in this world, and it is all about the discovery of our true Self. That very real part of us that is wanting to bring forth something so spectacular. If we are true to who we are, living our purpose and giving off our talents to the world around us, then we give back in service what we came to share with others – our spirit – our essence. The rewards for sharing our gifts with those close to us is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what we have done to them.

“The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out what your purpose is.” ~ Mark Twain


Self Image

Self image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. ~ Maxwell Maltz

“Uncertainty” is the key word in our lives. We must live with uncertainty and lead our ship through life’s rugged path, or retreat from life into a womb, an illusion since there are few guarantees to reassure us. We must learn to master these dangers to the best of our ability, and still live contentedly.

“Life Is Like Riding a Bicycle. To Keep Your Balance You Must Keep Moving” ~ Albert Einstein

After the “traumatic” process of our birth, we live the uncertain, minute-by-minute moments of infants in which a tolerant smile is followed by an indignant roar of rage and a howl of laughter, all within the space of thirty seconds.

Then it come the uncertainties of childhood, in which we depend on our parents, where destinies fluctuate according to complex economic, emotional, and sociological factors which we cannot yet understand.

The period of adolescence that follows is even more uncertain. Are we children or adults, or what we are? How should we behave toward adults? What is this called sex; is it good or bad and whose opinion do we ask and what do you do about it? Why do my parents still treat me as a child? Am I grown up, or am I?

Adulthood brings with it new problems, new uncertainties. The choice of vocations, the decisions to be made about marriage, marriage partner, and children, about business commitments and political views, insurance protection and community participations, or non-involvement, gambling or non-gambling strategies. I could write pages and pages on the conflicts a responsible adult must face and the uncertainties surrounding his decisions and the outcomes of his considered choices.

Throughout their lives most people worry about tragedy striking, the breadwinner losing their jobs, a fire that wipes out one’s home, an automobile accident in which a loved one is crippled, and these are real possibilities that one must learn to live without burying his head in the sand.

What is the answer to this dilemmas of life? It is simple, really, more life, reaffirmation of life, while there is life – life, with the help of a healthy self image that will give you the sense of certainty you need.

Some day we will all die, that is GOD’s law of life and there is nothing we can do about it. But while we lived, did we truly live?

Did we really live or just occupy space while we went through motions of living? Did we enjoy every year, every month, every week, and every day – or did we manage to passively endure the dull moments? Did we see the green trees, smell the beautiful flowers, share with our friends, taste our lamb chops, love our work – or were we so obsessed with worry that life could not enter into our troubled minds?

“Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don’t miss it” ~ Leo Buscaglia

As babies, we are born with smile coming through the first howl of pain, while we live, we must live constructively so that time and again a smile might break through the pain.

Now what about friendship – one of the chief ingredients of a rich life? There is a saying to the effect that “dog is a man’s best friend,” but I do not automatically fall in this silly sayings like this. I am fond of dogs, but if my observations are correct, a dog will be far from your best friend if you do not take care of him in the style to which he is accustomed.

Man’s best friend – any man’s best friend, is his self image. If he sees himself as a good guy, he is on the road to contentment; if he doesn’t, he will cause his own downfall.

“Love yourself and treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. You deserve the same love you give others”

John or Mary or Tom may be your friend and may be a valued friend, but your best friend is your self image. Another person may like you, may even go out of his way to help you in a crisis, but he cannot participate completely in your joys and  heartaches; more he cannot give you the capacity for success or failure, for self-acceptance or self-esteem. Your self image can give you this capacity and a sense of certainty as you live. If you see yourself as agreeable, if your picture of yourself is satisfying, you live with marvellous form of certainty; the conviction that when uncontrollable factors go against you and events temporarily oppose your desires, you will support yourself.

There will always be moment of adversity hitting you from the external world, as well as self doubts plaguing you from within. The real test of friendship for yourself is whether you rally to your own aid when you need the consoling sustenance of your best friend – YOU.

When you are sure of this internal cushion in crisis, then you know how to be certain in this uncertain world.

“We can learn to be our own best friend.  If we do, we have a friend for life.  We can buoy ourselves up, give ourselves comfort and sustenance the times when there is no one else” ~ Mildred Newman & Bernard Berkowitz

You can say to yourself “But the uncertainty is real; how can I relax?” You may protest that my point of view is not realistic. But I assure you that it is. And I assure you that I, too, know of life’s dangers as I have experienced them a lot in my life. We all go through grief, loss, shock, horror, and misfortune at some stage of our lives. There may be times in our lives that we feel tired, depressed and even walking sometimes seems an effort. Our thoughts may be incoherent and we lose contact with reality and retreat from the world of people and pain. But finally we realize that we have to continue with our life. We begin to see friends again. We learn to laugh again, and pick up the pieces and put them together. This is the way you must live your life. You must survive struggles, survive uncertainty, pick yourself off the floor, and go back to a creative living. But you need a friend at times like this, your self image, for a proper self image is the powerhouse within you that enables you to stand up under stress. Indeed, the power of your self image, intangible as it is, can outdistance the uncertainties with which you may wrestle.

Life holds many surprises for us, not all pleasant, and the person who would live creatively in today’s world must develop a strong self image. You cannot rely on luck and you cannot base your life on the opinion of other people. You must do it yourself and do it in a world full of frustrations and dangers. You must constantly work to improve your mental image of yourself, to feel better about yourself. You can do this if you are willing to work hard, without preconceptions of magical solutions, following these suggestions:

  • Every day you have many occasions to look into mirror; when you brush your teeth, when you wash your face, when you shave, when you powder your nose, or comb your hair. Go beyond these simple functions and use the mirror to help you, to become reacquainted with the outer image of a self you may have lost sight of in the rushing pace of life today.
  • Learn to accept this physical image of yourself and the inner self behind it.
  • You must recover your sense of self. Many people have lost this sense and do not understand that they have lost it or the sorrowful consequences of this loss.

You have to understand this: You can have expensive house. Two cars, a sizable bank account, and real estate, and still feel poor, if you have lost touch with a wholesome self image of yourself.

If you feel poor, then uncertainties will frighten you, and you will find them all around you.

Pliny the Elder, the famous Roman writer, once commented that “the only certainty is that nothing is certain”.  But the life insecurities need not worry you; they need not keep you from full living. Not if you feel that you are a worthwhile person. You must be able to allow yourself joy. You must feel at one with yourself. Then a sense of security will replace worry, and you will be able to live happily with a minimum of uncertainty.

 


How to Stop Worrying

How to Stop Worrying – “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia

Worries are those nagging thoughts about something you fear might happen. They are kind of thoughts which come into your mind and make you feel discouraged and anxious. The next thing happens, you actually start believing in those thoughts and feeding them with more arguments. Which in turn get you into a deeper state of confusion and sadness. Next thing you know, you find yourself there in that deep mud hole. You look around and all is doom and gloom. As Arthur Somers Roche said:  “Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained”

How to break the worry habit before it breaks you:

  • Block all negative thoughts from coming into your mind in the first place by keeping busy. If for some reason they do come in- address them right away. “What are the odds against this thing’s happening at all? What can I do to prove that this is not true? Be a lawyer arguing against that negativity. You can write all your thoughts down and counter argue them on paper or you can talk them out with someone you trust.
  • Co-operate with the inevitable. When Sir Henry Fawcett was a young man of twenty-five, he was blinded in a hunting accident. He had just graduated from Cambridge University as one of its most brilliant students and the world seemed like an apple rip for the picking. His own comments on the accident are: “Before twenty seconds had passed, I decided that not even this would hinder me from achieving the highest for which I was intended.” But he went on to become a professor in Cambridge. This man of faith refused to use this incident to build a tower of fear.

By fighting against the inevitable, you are using up a lot of  the energy you require for the more important areas of your life, and by not allowing yourself to let some things go, you will end up constantly tense and stressed out.

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  • Dwell on positive things, and positive ways of happy living. We spend hours and hours dwelling and ruminating on the negative and fearful things in our lives. We worry about what could go wrong, instead of focusing and paying attention to the rational, the positive and the good. If you study and relive your past experiences, analysing them, and “getting in touch with your feelings”, you will only reinforce those feelings. If you want to get away from a problem, you should not focus on it.  Focus on what is rational, the positive, the beautiful, and the nice. When you got worries out of your system you can feel the quiet tranquillity. You can see the beauty, the wonder.

“Your life will follow your expectations. What you expect is what you will get. If you dwell on positive thoughts, you will move in that direction; if you continually think negative thoughts, you will live a negative life” ~ Joel Osteen

Ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness:

  • Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it.”
  • Get past your enemies instead of getting Even with them. “Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them” ~ Dale CarnegieRegardless of how you have been wronged by others in your life, and how justified you might believe you are in seeking revenge, it’s important to remember that life isn’t a game and simply getting even doesn’t mean you’ve won the battle; it just means you’ve lost your self-respect. As Martin Luther King Jr said in one of his quotes: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
  • Don’t expect gratitude. If you go around expecting gratitude, you are headed for a lot of heartaches. There are thousands of people who are ill from neglect, ingratitude and loneliness. They longed to be loved but the only way that they can ever hope to be loved is, to stop asking for it and to start pouring out love without hope of return. If you want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving. “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting”
  • Find yourself and do not imitate others. As it says: “envy is ignorance” and “imitation is suicide”, you need to find your true self, and be yourself. We all have a built in set of personal values. If we lose touch with those values we lose touch with our authentic self. When we violate those values we violate our relationship with the person we really are. In order to be yourself, you have to identify those values and make every effort to live by them. We can only be the person we were meant to be, by connecting with our true self and by feeling comfortable with who we are.
  • Forget our own unhappiness, by trying to create a little happiness for others. “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared” ~ Buddha

Doing things for others, whether small, unplanned acts of kindness or regular volunteering – is a powerful way to boost your own happiness as well of those around you. Kindness and caring also seem to be contagious. When you see someone do something kind or thoughtful, or you are on the receiving end of kindness, it inspires you to be kinder yourself. In this way, kindness spreads from one person to the next, influencing the behaviour of people who never saw the original act. Kindness really is the key to creating a happier life. “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.”

“Life laughs at you when you are unhappy. Life smiles at you when you are happy. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy” ~ Charlie Chaplin

  • Count your blessings, not your troubles. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow” ~ Melodie Beattie

Counting your blessings, acknowledging and appreciating all that you already have in your life is a powerful technique that works as an antidote to worries. Noticing what is right in your life instead of worrying about what could go wrong in your life, make you feel happier and in peace with yourself. Always be satisfied with what you have and be determined to get what you want. Life has many ups and downs, but in any given situation if we analyse what we possess instead of what we have lost, we realize that God loves us and HIS blessings are always with us.

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” ~ Zig Ziglar

 


Search for your creative power

Search for your creative power depends on how much energy you put into reading and what you read. Certain books on thinking can make you better able to understand your mind and through such understanding enable you to make more intelligent use of your creative power. Creative power is about having the ability and power to manifest a creative idea. In particular it is about the power to cause something to come into existence which did not previously exist. Creative power is about consciousness directing a flow of creative life energy by how it focuses its attention and awareness.

Our mind is ours, and with it, we can create. We have created automobile, skyscrapers, airplanes, air conditions, television, satellite, and with it, we can create contentment, contentment in a joyful world in which we can harness machines to eliminate most of the dangers and hardships. Not only is it our potential to create a meaningful life, it is also our obligations to ourselves. And yet the quest for happiness is, to so many people, a grotesque traffic jam. The motor keeps running, but the car can’t move.

Too many people have renounced happiness; too many think that living has lost its kick for them; too many find no purpose in their lives. Why is this? Why people give up on life? Why do they give up on themselves?

“Individuality is dead”, some say. “The pace is too fast” others say. They talk about the hustle-bustle of city life, the speed with which people move around on working days. They criticize the changes in our ideas; about sex, about art, about dress. Who can keep up with these revolutions in thought?

All right, there is some truth to the criticisms of today’s world, but people have always lived with imperfection. Down through history we find people coping with problems; some lived richly, some were afraid to live. And so is today; there are people who live, and there are people who use rationalizations to keep them from living fully.

Criticisms of the modern world serve only as stumbling blocks if they lead people to turn away from life. There is no excuse for negative thinking which wastes human life. When a person drowns himself in such a pattern of thinking, he is committing an unspeakable crime against himself.

Yet in our complex civilization people too often live with boredom and anxiety rather than adventure. While I am writing this article on creative living, I would like to communicate to you my ideas on the meaning of life, about a good life which you can make reality. I want to share with you that zestful, optimistic living can be a reality for people today. So many people do not see this truth, yet it is as real as the table at which you eat; it is as real as you are male or female.

Contrary to what many think, truth can be pleasant:

  • Operating on your mind: There is more to life than a good physical image. There is another force which can sustain you amid the demands of living. It is a force that can remove scars of the mind. It is a force that can bring you a sense of security, even when events in your world go wrong, and that is your self-image.

In Hamlet, Shakespeare wrote, “To take arms against a sea of troubles.”

To live creatively, you must “take arms”. You must arm yourself with powerful weapons which will not fire blanks when you need their support.

“The self-concept is a factual description of how you perceive yourself. If your perception is distorted, this description may not be an accurate depiction of you, but it IS an accurate statement of what you believe about yourself.”

  • Don’t let worries get you down: It is completely unacceptable how negative thinking can take hold of you, dragging you down into despair. When you substitute worry for living, you must take responsibility for it. Because it is really up to you. You can make your days thrilling, or you can make them miserable.

“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.” ~Dale Carnegie

  • The source of your strength: To bring health into your life, you need healthy self-image. You need to see yourself as a worthwhile human being; you must give acceptance to yourself. The image you have of yourself, the way you see yourself deep down, is fundamental in your adjustment to yourself and to the world you live in.

“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.”  ~ Robert Collier

  • Sharpening your image of yourself: Deeply ingrained negative attitudes permeate our culture, and every day people we know may try to submerge us in them. You must not allow to be railroaded into adopting stereotyped, humiliating attitudes toward yourself. You must, to live creatively, redouble your efforts to support yourself, to give yourself credit for your accomplishments, your positive feelings, your positive actions, and your life building qualities. You must redouble your efforts to accept your shortcomings and to look humanely upon your blunders. Moreover you must examine yourself as you are, realistically, without falling prey to negative ideas which short-changes your estimate of yourself. If your self-image was never strong, you must work long and hard to strengthen it. If it was once strong but has deteriorated, you must eliminate self-destructive ideas from your mind and build it again, a logical continuation of what it used to be. You will encounter roadblocks from many sources, but you can overcome them if you adopt positive attitudes toward yourself, and if you see yourself as someone you like, as someone with whom you’d like to be friends. You must understand, first the incredible power of your mind, for good or evil. It is the simple concepts and images in your mind that can make you happy or miserable. Your thoughts, your concepts, your images, these are your most precious assets. You can buy a mink coat, or an expensive house, and yet be unhappy. You can travel around the globe a hundred times and make a million dollars, too, and still be miserable. You can strengthen your image of yourself and be content.

“To live happily is an inward power of the soul.” ~ Aristotle

  • Real meaning in your life: Life is something different for each person. Sad to say, some people hide, afraid to come out into the daylight. Others may both take refuge in safe, dull activities which will protect them from both punishment and real human experience. But life should be adventure for you today. Life should be exciting for you today. Life should be purposeful for you today. You must understand that, though we seem to hear mostly the negative, there is always two sides to the coin. Even within the many confines of civilization, the human being may still be free and joyous.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, “The life of man is the true romance, which, when it is valiantly conducted, will yield the imagination a higher joy than fiction.This is written in nineteenth century, but it is still accurate—if one’s life “valiantly conducted”.

Preparation for rich living cannot start too soon. NOW, now is the time. NOW is the time to reappraise yourself—who you are. Where you are going. NOW is the time to see what you can do to improve your life.

“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” ~ Bob Proctor

 


Change your thoughts and you change your world

Change your thoughts and you change your world.  / Norman Vincent Peale

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Optimism is an outlook in which we view the world as a positive place. In doing so, we realize that a wonderful life is worth loving. Optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma. Sometimes, we get caught up in the trap of negativity and we may feel that everything is working against us, we might feel overwhelmed and out of control, but it doesn’t mean that we have to let them control our feelings. It is all a matter of choice whether we want to make optimism a habit of our life.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

  • Optimists always expect the best, they believe that bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault. The truth is that optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world too. What differs them is the way they explain their misfortune. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.
  • Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the ‘problem’ at hand. They view negative experience in a way that can help them to learn and grow. Such people don’t get frazzled by bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder. They won’t say “things will never get better,” or “If I failed once, it will happen again”. Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to a new environment, a sudden tragedy and an unlikely turn of event. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.
  • People respond positively to optimists. Optimists tend to make things happen, instead of waiting for things to happen. They are less dependent on others for their happiness. They don’t find need to control or manipulate people. They usually attract people towards them. Their optimistic point of view towards the world can be contagious and influence others around them.
  • Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than others who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.
  • Optimists have Perseverance, which is the key to success. They just don’t give up easily, they just keep on keeping on, as they are committed to their goals. This ability leads them to unexpected discoveries and expands their knowledge, both about themselves and about the field of their endeavour. They are also known for their patience. Inching their way one step at a time closer to their goal or elusive dream.
  • Optimists are healthier and live longer. Numerous studies support the belief that people with positive perspective tend to be healthier and enjoy longer lives than those who are generally gloomy and cynical about the future and always expecting the worst in every situation. As having a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight disease, an optimist tend to age well and get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life. Why not look forward to success in all our endeavours? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else we are bound to hit lows sometimes but we don’t have to just stay there. We can carry ourselves out of the mud and improve our chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-coloured glasses and see life in the bright side?

Our thoughts not only create our reality, they also influence the reality of those around us. Let the currents that flow through us be those of positivity and love. Choose thoughts that reflect of what we want to see and experience in the world. Be the reflection of our dream life and watch it manifest before our very eyes.

“Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny”


Becoming a better you

Becoming a better you requires willingness and open-mindedness for change and growth. One thing about life is that it is never static. Change is inevitable, it happens all the time. If you ever want to become that person you ever wish to be then you have to keep pace with changes. On my person, I have a favourite phrase: “Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become”. It has made me a better person; not perfect but every day I have something to be proud of.

Many are the days we are driven by abstract situations and we do not want to accept reality or the changes that we are expected to make. In that we can never become a better person. Yes, there are so many hurdles to being good but losing the ‘self’ in you is detrimental. I do not want you to lead a bad path (I have seen many people get lost for good) and that is why I share a week’s formula to become a better you;

Be a servant

How often do you serve others? There is a lot of gratification in giving service to others. Be there for those close to you or those who need you. It does not matter your position but be a servant.

“Service to humanity is the act of making sacrifices for people we don’t necessarily know or have any close connection with, simply by virtue of our spiritual connection to them as part of one universal spiritual family. It is an act that, when replicated by many, results in material progress and the advancement of human civilization. Additionally, the act of service to humanity has the power to unite the hearts of all mankind, as individuals and societies develop their spiritual capacities.”

List your values

You are more valuable than you think. You have priceless values and every decision or goal you make should resonate with those values. Your 2016 resolutions should underline your values and it will be a year of change that you will live to remember.

“No one can determine your value except you. Stop on self-limiting beliefs. Embrace your self-worth”

Know that you have a purpose

You are not just wandering all over the world waiting for you date with death. You have a purpose and finding it will make your life worth living for. It doesn’t matter what age you are. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you do. As long as you wish to live a more meaningful and conscious life, a life purpose is for you. For example you could   inspire and unleash creativity in some individual, help people discover their worth, break their barriers, and realize their hopes and dreams, or educate and enable people to achieve their best health and hence, live a happier and healthier life. Find it and you will never regret a single day.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Appreciate your strengths

You may not be the best you wish to be but you have strengths that nobody else has. No matter how insignificant you think your strengths are; someone else wishes they were you.

“Each and every individual in this world is unique and different from others in his/her own way. Each one of us possesses distinct talents and our strengths and weaknesses vary from others. Once you have identified your strengths, take a look at your current role and assess whether or not you are playing to your strengths. If not, assess whether it would be possible for you to adapt the focus of your work to make more of your strengths.”

Grasp your passions

Deep inside, you really know what you want to become. Nobody knows you better than you do and that is why you should keep your passions alive. Do not be discouraged by failures; they are just there to test you mettle. Be steadfast with what you want and that is what you will get.

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living”  ― Nelson Mandela

You have needs, know them

Many people live and die without ever knowing their needs. It is stressing to live a long life and deep inside you do not know what your needs are. If you want security or freedom then these are your foremost needs. Those called heroes and fathers of our nations knew their needs, changed the world and that is why we remember them centuries after they died.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world” ― Anne Frank

Live from within not without

There are those people who know much about others and the world but they do not know themselves. If you want to be better, start by knowing your inner self. Take time with nature, be alone and go for soul searching.

“At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ― Lao Tzu

You do not have to be the president of the most powerful nation in the world to be better. You can do it in your small ways. Change your life and see what the real value within you is. Try today to know yourself and what is worth your life.

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have” ― Margaret Mead


Love Is A Symbol Of Eternity

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.                                                                                  

Love is a type of eternal bond in which one tries to bring joy for other at the sacrifice of his own happiness. Love lights the heart of people and stops violence. Love can kill all the miseries of life like pain and sorrow. Love brings peace and happiness in life. Love brings desire to live life. Love is not only between husband and wife but it is the relationship between two individuals who have consideration for each other. It can be between father and child, mother and her son, brother and sister, or between friends.

Husband loves his wife, mother loves her child, and saint loves GOD. Love is the gift that you can give your dear ones. Love is like a precious pearl and the people who understand the meaning of love will never let it fell down.

A person who has not loved anyone is incomplete in himself. If you have never loved anyone, if your life is full of sorrow only love is a weapon by which you can kill all your miseries and bring happiness for yourself and to others also.

You can kill the enmity of your enemies just by saying few words of love. You can kill the quarrel just by love.

“Love… What is love? Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be.” ~ Chris Moore

But above all is the unconditional love which is the complete acceptance of all flaws, selflessness, and steadfast devotion, with no conditions attached.

Let’s examine some possibilities, beginning with parental affection. We might imagine that the idealistic feelings a mother first has for her baby should include unconditional love, meaning that no matter what the child does or says, her love for her child remains unwavering. If her child makes mistakes, she still loves him. Whether rich or poor; fat or thin; successful or struggling; she loves her offspring. Despite disagreements or different beliefs, her love for her child remains unchanging. Unconditionally means just that: No conditions or requirements attached.

So when we find someone who loves us as we are without any condition, and we are able to love them the same way, it is an amazing experience. They may be different from us in many ways. They may view the world differently and have habits that we don’t share, but we can embrace these differences because they are part of this unique person we love.  We will be able to love each other regardless of sickness, mistakes, financial hardship, or any other of life’s inevitable trials and difficulties.

But this kind of love requires an unconditional love of oneself first, so we have the strength of heart and mind to give the same to another human being. . It means that first we have to love ourselves, feel good about ourselves and acknowledge the positive qualities that we can bring to a relationship. If we won’t have that confidence in ourselves as a valuable and capable person, then our insecurities will affect our mutual happiness and our relationship.

Perhaps, while reading this article, you’ve struggled with the concept of unconditional love because you’ve suffered an abusive upbringing, or you were juggled between orphanages, foster care environments, or step-parents’ homes. Perhaps you left an abusive relationship and started a new life in a different country. These circumstances make you special and spiritually strong, but not any less capable of experiencing love.

I’ve seen amazing examples of remarkable souls who’ve experienced horrible abuse, torture, and neglect, only to develop into the most kind and unconditionally loving humans.

I believe in unconditional love. I believe it’s possible to love our children, our spouses, and our fellow human beings–unconditionally. Perhaps the question is not whether we can try or whether it’s possible; perhaps it’s simply a question of putting our love into actions.

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” ~ Maya Angelou

 

Trust Yourself

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.  ― Benjamin Spock

Trusting ourselves means trusting our intuition or our gut feelings. Intuition is a great self-help tool as it is with us at all time and can tell us what we really want or don’t want in our life and what we need to be successful. After all no one knows the real us better than ourselves.

Unfortunately we ignore our intuition most of times and let our rational mind to take over. When making a decision. How many times do you ask people for their opinion? How many times a day do you second guess yourself? We all have been doubting ourselves most of times, thinking that we are not good enough. That is because we don’t trust our inner voice and instead we depend on others. In other word we tell ourselves that our opinion don’t matter and others must know better than us. The truth is that we do know something and probably know more than we think we know. But by thinking that we don’t know anything keeps us from making the right decision which our intuitive mind is telling us. And we let ourselves to be dependent on other people.

It’s time that we learn how to trust ourselves. Here are a few simple steps which can help you to build trust in yourself:

  • Be-friend yourself. The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship with ourselves. If we don’t know ourselves, are not connected and emotionally available to ourselves, we cannot be connected and emotionally available for others either. By knowing ourselves better we become more focussed on our internal processes. We have to constantly ask ourselves questions, like: “What am I feeling? What am I thinking?” “I wonder why that’s bothering me? And this process builds an inner strength and plants the seed of trust.
  • Take action. We gain trust in others when they stick to the promises they have made and have delivered them. Has ever someone let you down? Made a promise and broken it? How did it feel? Pretty horrible I suspect. What about the other way around?  Have you ever broken a promise to someone else? We generally try with all our power to follow through our word, to do as we have promised we will. Promises are serious matters and by not sticking to them we create strong feelings when they are made and broken. We place a lot of value on being honest and having personal integrity. Now I have another question to ask: Have you ever made a promise to yourself which you didn’t follow it through and broke it? I think most of us have, even more than once or twice. The point is, if we have a friend who constantly made promises and let us down, what would we think of them? What value would we place on their promises?  And how long would we tolerate their behaviour? When we break the promises that we have made to ourselves, we send ourselves a powerful message that we are not trustworthy. And we also go against our values around being honest and acting with integrity. By learning to be accountable to ourselves we start to trust ourselves, and with each and every commitment we keep to ourselves, we build our self-esteem and faith in our ability to deliver. Making a promise to do something that is within our limit but at the same time, leading us towards our goal, is the best way to build trust.
  • Be tough, but just. Each and every one of us make mistakes during our lives. There might be times when we break our promises to ourselves, but the important thing is to acknowledge it and find a solution for it. The best ways I found to make me keeping my promises are: To make one promise per day and stick to it.  To be realistic in my daily commitment, not to let anything get in the way, To make my promise clear and specific, To write down my promise and keep it somewhere visible, To keep track of my daily success on a chart somewhere I can see regularly, and reward myself for keeping my promises for a week.

Life is about trusting yourself and your feelings, taking chances, finding happiness and learning from your mistakes. Don’t be so afraid of making mistakes as I believe that life has a way of working out. So trust your best judgment, stick to your decision, follow through, and let the cards fall where they may.

“Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves.” ~ Leon Brown

 


Give Yourself Permission To Live A Life

Give yourself permission to live a life – Most people around the world have sacrificed their passion or creativity in order to fulfil their responsibilities. So often in our lives we lose touch with our inner selves, with how we feel and what we truly desire in our lives. Then we start asking ourselves questions like:  How will it be when I get to the end of my life? How do I feel about the life I lived? The feeling of anxiety that will come next is just normal. Then we will feel confused because life had felt so good. We were happy, had a successful marriage, beautiful kids, and a job that we reasonably enjoyed. We feel that we had everything and yet something is missing. This missing part keeps us from being happy and completely satisfied with our life.

We have to realize that there is no fairy dust that will make our life what we want it to be or a magic spell that will bring us the feelings that we desire. We have to accept that only we have the control and the power within us to make the choices that will serve us best. We are the ones who have to take the first step and give ourselves permission to apply positive changes to our life and create a new happy and more fulfilling life for ourselves.

Here are top ten shifts in perspective that can help you move your life to the next level. This self-improvement article will assist you in breaking through that missing part to create the life you really want.

  1. Give yourself permission to dream. When was the last time you caught yourself daydreaming and appreciated it? You probably had no problem dreaming, when you were a kid. What happened to your ability to imagine and dream about what you want and who you want to be? How often do you allow yourself to be who you are? To dance when you want to dance? To sing? To say, I love you first?
  2. Stop looking outside yourself for happiness. Look inside. People often believe something outside of themselves will make them happier. The truth is, external elements bring only temporary happiness. Once you have enough money to pay your bills, have lost weight, or have fallen in love, your happiness subsides and you begin looking for the next external element to make you happy. Increase your self-awareness. Get curious about who you are at the core. Cultivate and nurture a relationship with yourself. Learn to love yourself, and you will automatically receive the love and appreciation that you desire from others.
  3. Cover the basics. Take the time to address your personal needs. How can you focus on thriving in your life if you are in survival mode? Set up that meeting with a financial advisor, get your space organized, clean up the details that are wasting your energy.
  4. Embrace your past and move on. Learning to accept your past will help you move forward in your life. Let go of things in your past which are lingering around and are causing you stress. Shift from “why it happened” to what I want to do about it now. Asking “why” is not a very empowering question. Asking what or how I want to proceed can be much more powerful and produce forward movement.
  5. Remember that you are not alone. Life can be very overwhelming sometimes but you have to get yourself into the habit of reading regularly. When was the last time you read a book or an article about self-improvement? Everything you read fills your head with new bits of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to tackle any challenge you’ll ever face. Read more self-improvement articles. They might help you figure about some things that are puzzling you.
  6. Remember gratitude. Count your blessings. Being grateful is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is relatively immune to the gains and losses that flow in and out of our lives. When disaster strikes, gratitude provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety and not be overwhelmed by temporary circumstances. Yes, this perspective is hard to achieve, but it is worth the effort. Make a list of what is working right in your life? Set aside a bit of time every day to acknowledge what or who you are grateful for. The more you practice gratitude, the more you attract things into your life to be grateful for.
  7. Follow your passion. You still have your passions though it has been a while since you may have felt it flow. Make a commitment to yourself today to become aware of your passion, follow it and live it completely free as you let go of your fears and worries. It doesn’t make sense to say, “I don’t know what my passion is.” What does make sense is to say, “I haven’t yet cultivated a passion, I should really focus down on a small number of things which can help me to find my deep passion that drives me into a fulfilling career.
  8. Take action and take a risk. All the inspiration in the world is not enough to make you move your life to the next level. It takes inspired action to do that. When you’re taking inspired action, you are in the zone. You are flying along like a high speed engine and everything just flows. You will accomplish more in a relatively short amount of time than you ever realized was possible. You will work harder than ever, but it doesn’t feel like work.
  9. Keep breathing. You probably forget to take deep full breaths. We have all learned to constrict our breathing in response to stress. You can’t stay calm unless you control your breathing. We need oxygen, not only to live but to gain energy and be healthy.
  10. Have fun. Do something that you enjoy. Take a walk at lunch and enjoy the sunshine on your skin. Listen to some soothing music for five minutes (with your eyes closed). Take yourself to an art museum or schedule a whole day out in nature. Give your spouse an extra-long hug and kiss when you see them tonight. Incorporate some fun in your day. It makes life a lot more enjoyable!

Always look over the little details of your life… like a child’s laughter, a friend’s hug, or a stranger’s smile… to love someone and be loved by someone… enjoy them… They may be small, but when you look back in your life, you’ll realize that those are the things that made your life colourful and worth living for.

“Give yourself permission to take action on feeling good and creating positive changes in your life, because you deserve it. We all do!”


Practice Kindness

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty. / Anne Herbert

Kindness is inspiring, powerful, courageous and wise. It’s also disarming, compelling and transformative. Being kind is a vital way of bringing meaning to our own lives as well as the lives of others. Being kind allows us to communicate better, be more compassionate, and also to be a positive force in people’s lives. Kindness has its true source deep within us, and while some people are innately kind, it’s something that everyone can cultivate by choice. In any given moment, the kindness we offer to ourselves or to others affects what happens in the very next moment. The more we practice, the better we get at it.

Here are some simple ways to practice kindness:

  1. Smiles are powerful and contagious. Don’t hesitate to smile warmly at friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. Never stop smiling! God smiles on us each and every day. His love has no depth, his mercy no end. His arms are open wide, just step into them.
  2. Send hand-written thank-you notes to the people in your life who have helped you through your difficult times and had an impact on the life you have created for yourself. Receiving a hand written thank you notes delivers a special meaning and it is a personal touch.
  3. If you use public transport, be the first one to offer your seat to an elderly person or a pregnant woman when it is busy and there is no free seats left.
  4. Pay it forward can add a tremendous sense of meaning and dignity to our lives. Simply put, it feels good to give to others, whether we get back or not. How about when you are in a coffee shop next time, you could buy a coffee or cake in advance for the next customer that comes in. Imagine what a nice surprise that could be to that person when they discover that a kind stranger has paid it forward for them.
  5. When you see a homeless person, think about a way to help them. May be you could bring them some water, buy them some food, or give them some warm clothing, sleeping bags or blankets when the weather is cold. You could spend some time with them, listen to them and talk to them.
  6. Care for others genuinely around you. Most people who care for others in a selfless manner do so because of a genuine desire to help and improve the world around them.  Being caring allows you to have empathy for others and to live a life based on affection, love, and compassion for the people around you.  Being caring means providing a listening ear, noticing when someone needs help, and helping your community without asking for a reward
  7. One of most basic needs of human being is to understand and be understood. Although we hear with our ears, many of us don’t necessarily listen to what is being said. We don’t get the chance to listen when we are too quickly reacting, judging, providing solutions, and disagreeing. When we listen to others well, it makes them feel accepted, understood, important, valued and validated. Listening benefits the listener as well. It helps build trust, avoid misunderstanding, and above all it’s a true gift which we can share to uplift people.
  8. Ask elderly neighbours if they need anything doing. The best course of action to begin with is to make yourself known to an elderly neighbour and ask if there’s anything you can do to help. Getting older might mean that they have trouble carrying out simple jobs, that you could manage with little effort, and they will really appreciate your offer.
  9. Tell your loved ones that you love them regularly. Sometimes, it gets taken for granted that we love our parents, siblings, friends, spouse or our children and though they’re really important to us, we simply don’t use “those words” in normal conversation. Love is a positive energy that makes us feel good when it is received or shared. If we want to feel good all the time, we should release this energy often by expressing our love. When we express love, we make the other person also feel good. That person too, as a response, expresses love and we receive more of this positive healing energy.
  10. When a thought of generosity arises within you, act on it. Don’t hold back. This is important. Giving doesn’t have to be involved with material things. It could be sending flowers, a compliment, a word of encouragement, sitting with someone in time of grief or sadness. The Law of Giving is really simple:  if you want more joy, give joy to others.  If you want love, learn to give love.  If you want happiness, help others become happy.  And if you want to become wealthy, learn to help others become materially affluent. Our potential for wealth is not shown in our bank account as much as it is in the attitude of our heart.
  11. If someone is struggling with money problems, find a way anonymously to help them if you can. If not anonymously, out in front.
  12. Stop complaining. It never makes anything better, it doesn’t serve any purpose besides draining your energy and the energy of others around you, and it makes friends and family screen you out when you call, or run in different direction when they see you coming. So choose to reject negativity and be positive instead.
  13. Compliment others. Compliments should come from a place of genuine desire to make other people feel better. I know you’ve received a compliment before that has made you feeling good about yourself. Don’t you want to spread the love and give that kind of feeling to others?
  14. Always speak thoughtfully. You have the power to contribute something meaningful or hurtful. Choose your words carefully as they can be remembered years later. Always speak good words, or words that reflect who you really are. Being kind doesn’t mean that you can’t make your point or send your message across. Being kind will show that you care, regardless of the message. By sharing your compassion, you might change how someone feels about themselves or a situation.
  15. Think of the people in your life and be there for them when they need help. Sometime we are so caught up in our daily life and so focused on our own agendas that we forget about others ‘needs  and our effect on them.  If you want to be a more caring person, then you have to appreciate the people in your life as much as you can and make a habit of taking the time to help a friend or a loved one in need. If a friend or a family member is having a hard time, make sure they know that you are there for them and are available to talk and help.
  16. Spend some time with a senior citizen living on their own. Older people are especially vulnerable to loneliness and social isolation, and it can have a serious effect on their health. Someone who is lonely probably also finds it hard to reach out. There is a stigma surrounding loneliness, and older people tend not to ask for help because they have too much pride. You could always volunteer helping them. You could spend some time with them, listen to them and get them engaged in conversation, and make some difference in their life.
  17. Give Blood. Donating blood is a simple thing to do, but it can make a big difference in the lives of others.
  18. Encourage someone to pursue their dream. Be a haven of positive thoughts and outlooks to someone to achieve their goals. Provide them support and help them persevere their dreams when they’re looking down.
  19. Always say “Please” and “Thank You”, to keep you humble, to make you fully appreciate your blessings, to make you feel more optimistic, and to encourage you compassion, kindness and love.
  20. Always show special kindness and compassion to those who suffer. Be considerate toward people in need. By showinng compassion, not only you help others, but in essence, you help yourself too.  By doing good to others we receive positivity, contentment. and peace.  In this sense, the various forms of the Golden Rule are clearly based on the concept of compassion.“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” – Dalai Lama

Kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, lend them a helping hand. Do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” / Lao Tzu