Tag Archives: how to worry less

Let Go of Worry

Let go of worry, of what you can’t control, and be mindful of the present moment.

Let go of worry. Worrying doesn’t help you to deal with a problem, it only makes it more difficult to find clarity.

Let go of worry. Worry and Fear dominate the thinking of so many people today. It is tragic that how negative thinking can take hold of us, dragging us down into despair.
“Worry is fear in disguise. And fear will eat you from the inside out if you let it.” ― Jim Butcher
Worry is helpful if it prompts us to take action and resolve a problem, but it can become destructive when we find it hard to let go, and our minds become engaged with worst-case scenarios.
Sometimes, there are real reasons to worry; the rising cost of living, public-sector cuts, job insecurity. But there are many instances when we all become distressed for no logical reason, which has an impact on creating anxiety.
Everyone worries from time to time. But for some people, “worry is a way of life”.
The college student who spends half of his time worrying about radioactive fallout knows nothing of real living. Sure he can try to realistically improve the situation. He can write his congressman or organize a group to discuss the problem; but when he buries his being in worry, this is only self-destruction.

The young mother whose thoughts are full of anxiety about her children is also wasting her time. Not that she shouldn’t teach them about life’s dangers, not that she shouldn’t try to protect them from crisis, but after that, why the self torture? It won’t help
Let go of worry, of all these worries about the events that might happen in the future, or about things you can’t change, and more, you can justify if you wish. You can tell yourself you are only realistic, but you are really not.
When we substitute worry for living, we must take responsibility for it. Because it is really up to us; we can let go of worry and make our days inspiring, or we can make them miserable.
Still if you haven’t been able to let go of worry, and have wasted some of your life moping, don’t blame yourself for it. You are not perfect, no one is, and self-blame will not help you. Just read what I have to say and see if my ideas won’t help you to live more meaningfully.
“I vow to let go of worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Practice positive thinking in order to let go of worry. It allows you to focus on your strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows you to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. We all encounter roadblocks from many sources in our lives, but we can overcome them only if we adopt positive attitude toward ourselves, and if we see ourselves as someone we like, as someone with whom we would like to be friends.
If you want to let go of worry, you must understand, first the incredible power of your mind; for good or bad. It is not easy to comprehend that in a world of superhighways and skyscrapers, of atomic energy and astronauts speeding through outer space, it is the simple concepts and images in your mind that can make you happy or miserable. You must understand that, though we seem to hear mostly the negative, there are two sides to the coin. Even within the many confines of civilization, the human being may still be free and happy.
“A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you”

The following tips provide practical suggestions which can help you to shift into more positive thinking patterns, and let go of worry:

  1. Remind yourself of the things you are grateful for: Always concentrate on the little joys that happen in your life throughout a day. Allow these moments of delight carry you over the ones with distress and hopelessness, and record them in a gratitude journal. This exercise will help you to open your eyes and have more appreciation for what you have in your life and help you to let go of worry.
  2. Detach yourself from negative thoughts: Thoughts can be very powerful in generating negative and distressing feelings. And distressing feelings can in turn be a strong driver for negative and unhelpful behaviours which discourage us from living our lives according to our values and priorities. Therefore it is useful to develop the ability to stop, step back, take a deep breath and examine our thoughts to determine their accuracy or helpfulness. In this way we are able to accept, listen to, follow those thoughts that are accurate or helpful; and reject those thoughts that are inaccurate or unhelpful..
  3. Take good care of yourself: Exercise, proper nutrition, and getting enough sleep make it easier to maintain a positive attitude. A healthy diet creates a nourished body and mind and sustains high performance in everyday life. And being physically active regularly increases energy levels, reduces stress and promotes health. Getting the appropriate amount of exercise benefits our mental health and mood. It promote releasing the body’s feel-good hormones, lowering the stress hormone, and making it easier for us to let go of worry and negative thoughts.
  4. Change your perspective: Everything is energy, our thoughts begin it, our emotions amplify it, and our action increase the momentum. Energy flows where we focus our attention. We have a choice to direct or focus our thoughts on either positive or negative. So what happens when our thoughts become negative, repetitive, distorted, and intrusive? Naturally, they turn destructive; they affect us, they impact our results, our success, and our health. There are ways to deal with them: The first way is to send STOP command to our mind to interrupt the progression of those destructive thoughts, and then SWAP them by positive thoughts. Always keep a list of positive, happy, healthy, constructive thoughts, and swap away. And the second way is as Dale Carnegie, has explained in his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living book: “First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” So, ask, accept and proceed.
  5. Nurture your relationships: When we nurture our relationship with our loved ones, it can contribute to far greater happiness than any money or material things that we could possess. We are all on this earth for a limited time. Spending time with family and friends, listening to them, laughing with them, hugging them, supporting them and being there for them is worth more than anything else we could ever give. Love and affection can have many positive effects on our mental health and mood. Studies have shown a decrease in stress hormones in people who feel a sense of support and a bond with someone, even by phone or email.
  6. Increase Your Social Activity: People have a huge impact on our lives. Surround yourself with happy people, who will uplift and encourage you. Their positive energy can affect you in a positive way, and decrease your loneliness. “Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.” – Karl Marx
  7. Relax by giving yourself some time: For most of us life can get busy and pretty full sometimes. So always make sure to set aside some time every day to relax reading a book, sitting in the garden with the sun on your face, or doing meditation. You’ll find that your feelings of anxiety subside and you let go of worry. Go to bed early at night time, so you can feel your best and fresh the next day after having enough sleep.
  8. Smile: Smiling to others and ourselves is a gift of love. It triggers happy feelings in the brain, reduces stress and help us to let go of worry and negative thoughts. A deep inner smile spreads like a relaxing medicine, making us responsive to transforming negative energy into positive. Smile therapy lowers the stress hormones and produces hormones that relax muscles, reduce pain, and stabilise mood. But even if you don’t feel like smiling, can you fake it till you make it? As even a surface smile tricks the brain into releasing happy hormones. So never underestimate the power of a smile. Use yours and you’ll find it helps you to disperse sadness, dissolve stress, and uplift your mood.
  9. Live in the moment: To live in the moment, or now, means being conscious in the present with all of our senses. Joy is often about living in the moment, being absorbed in what we’re doing, not grieving on the past or worrying about the future. By grasping each moment of our life, we will be able to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. It doesn’t mean that we don’t need a plan, a goal or prepare ourselves for the future. We can decide what we really want and go for it, but still enjoy each moment as it unfolds. Worry and fear are most often experienced when we are inactive and thinking about the future. By being fully present and engaged, putting our hearts and souls in something we do, we are able to let go of worry and replace destructive thoughts with the rush of pure excitement. When we become positive and optimistic in the present, we open the possibility of a positive and promising future. “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you” – Dan Millman


How to Stop Worrying

How to Stop Worrying – “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia

Worries are those nagging thoughts about something you fear might happen. They are kind of thoughts which come into your mind and make you feel discouraged and anxious. The next thing happens, you actually start believing in those thoughts and feeding them with more arguments. Which in turn get you into a deeper state of confusion and sadness. Next thing you know, you find yourself there in that deep mud hole. You look around and all is doom and gloom. As Arthur Somers Roche said:  “Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained”

How to break the worry habit before it breaks you:

  • Block all negative thoughts from coming into your mind in the first place by keeping busy. If for some reason they do come in- address them right away. “What are the odds against this thing’s happening at all? What can I do to prove that this is not true? Be a lawyer arguing against that negativity. You can write all your thoughts down and counter argue them on paper or you can talk them out with someone you trust.
  • Co-operate with the inevitable. When Sir Henry Fawcett was a young man of twenty-five, he was blinded in a hunting accident. He had just graduated from Cambridge University as one of its most brilliant students and the world seemed like an apple rip for the picking. His own comments on the accident are: “Before twenty seconds had passed, I decided that not even this would hinder me from achieving the highest for which I was intended.” But he went on to become a professor in Cambridge. This man of faith refused to use this incident to build a tower of fear.

By fighting against the inevitable, you are using up a lot of  the energy you require for the more important areas of your life, and by not allowing yourself to let some things go, you will end up constantly tense and stressed out.

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  • Dwell on positive things, and positive ways of happy living. We spend hours and hours dwelling and ruminating on the negative and fearful things in our lives. We worry about what could go wrong, instead of focusing and paying attention to the rational, the positive and the good. If you study and relive your past experiences, analysing them, and “getting in touch with your feelings”, you will only reinforce those feelings. If you want to get away from a problem, you should not focus on it.  Focus on what is rational, the positive, the beautiful, and the nice. When you got worries out of your system you can feel the quiet tranquillity. You can see the beauty, the wonder.

“Your life will follow your expectations. What you expect is what you will get. If you dwell on positive thoughts, you will move in that direction; if you continually think negative thoughts, you will live a negative life” ~ Joel Osteen

Ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness:

  • Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it.”
  • Get past your enemies instead of getting Even with them. “Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them” ~ Dale CarnegieRegardless of how you have been wronged by others in your life, and how justified you might believe you are in seeking revenge, it’s important to remember that life isn’t a game and simply getting even doesn’t mean you’ve won the battle; it just means you’ve lost your self-respect. As Martin Luther King Jr said in one of his quotes: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
  • Don’t expect gratitude. If you go around expecting gratitude, you are headed for a lot of heartaches. There are thousands of people who are ill from neglect, ingratitude and loneliness. They longed to be loved but the only way that they can ever hope to be loved is, to stop asking for it and to start pouring out love without hope of return. If you want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving. “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting”
  • Find yourself and do not imitate others. As it says: “envy is ignorance” and “imitation is suicide”, you need to find your true self, and be yourself. We all have a built in set of personal values. If we lose touch with those values we lose touch with our authentic self. When we violate those values we violate our relationship with the person we really are. In order to be yourself, you have to identify those values and make every effort to live by them. We can only be the person we were meant to be, by connecting with our true self and by feeling comfortable with who we are.
  • Forget our own unhappiness, by trying to create a little happiness for others. “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared” ~ Buddha

Doing things for others, whether small, unplanned acts of kindness or regular volunteering – is a powerful way to boost your own happiness as well of those around you. Kindness and caring also seem to be contagious. When you see someone do something kind or thoughtful, or you are on the receiving end of kindness, it inspires you to be kinder yourself. In this way, kindness spreads from one person to the next, influencing the behaviour of people who never saw the original act. Kindness really is the key to creating a happier life. “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.”

“Life laughs at you when you are unhappy. Life smiles at you when you are happy. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy” ~ Charlie Chaplin

  • Count your blessings, not your troubles. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow” ~ Melodie Beattie

Counting your blessings, acknowledging and appreciating all that you already have in your life is a powerful technique that works as an antidote to worries. Noticing what is right in your life instead of worrying about what could go wrong in your life, make you feel happier and in peace with yourself. Always be satisfied with what you have and be determined to get what you want. Life has many ups and downs, but in any given situation if we analyse what we possess instead of what we have lost, we realize that God loves us and HIS blessings are always with us.

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” ~ Zig Ziglar